There Is Hope After The Bully Is Gone And Other Resolutions For The New Year

Midnight is just a few hours away.  It will signal the start of a brand spanking new decade.  Yeah!  That time can’t tick by quickly enough because this particular celebration is really precious to me.  The list of things I am grateful to leave behind include financial losses, family illnesses, broken arms, surgery and being evacuated from my home barely two blocks North of the World Trade Center as I stood by helplessly watching as thousands died.   It took years to recover but I did.  And, shortly after I finally breathed a guilty survivor’s sigh of relief, I suddenly found myself working for a vicious and abusive boss who brought me to my knees.  Once again I’ve moved on and rebuilt my life and – although I bristle when other people say this – I have indeed made lemonade out of lemons by making this site that includes the videos already posted, those in progress,  and meeting all of you.  

I remember reading a research study about workplace bullying and PTSD that found that the further one gets from the actual experience the easier it is to heal.  I had to leave Manhattan to recover from 9/11 and later I had to leave the institution I worked at to recover from the bullying experience.  One workplace bullying expert that I’ve come to respect, Catherine Mattice (noworkplacebullies.com),  just posted an interesting article about the Army’s research into the importance of optimism and the severity of PTSD.

“Resilient individuals are optimistic and energetic, curious, and demonstrate positive emotionality. Resiliency is about being flexible in stressful experiences and bouncing back when they are over.”

I’m not sure I’m optimistic.  I think I’m just stubborn enough to refuse to give anyone the satisfaction of destroying me.  And lucky enough not to have had to face the limits of what would break me.  My heart goes out to those who did and I send warm hugs to the friends and families of Jodie and Marlene Braun and all the others unable to make the journey back.

Warm wishes for an optimistic New Year to you and yours.

3 thoughts on “There Is Hope After The Bully Is Gone And Other Resolutions For The New Year

  1. Without knowing more about what Mattice means by optimism (just positive attitude or something deeper in one’s character) I am not sure I think it is the essential quality. But I haven’t seen the research. It seems to me the bully can destroy one’s optimism, and that resiliency and bouncing back presume one can get the experience OVER WITH. If the experience seems never-ending, what is there to be optimistic about? I am glad most people find a way out of their bullying jobs just by quitting the job, but as we know, that is not the end of the experience for everyone. Prolonged unemployment, rejection and shunning by former friends and colleagues, keep the experience going for some people.

    This is a great post. I am happy for everyone who has made it out.

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  2. I really appreciate your post and indeed there are many targets I’ve interviewed who have experienced insurmountable hurdles. My desire to bring awareness to this issue comes from my own experience but my work is dedicated to those far less fortunate than I. Their stories are included in videos posted on the main site as well as several that will be posted in the coming year. Tracey was never able to find a comparable job again and Jodie and Marlene took their own lives. Their loved ones point the finger at their employers.

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  3. Happy New Year!
    I have been subject to workplace bullying. Im so glad that light is being shed on this monster. It happens everywhere and you truly dont understand until you have experienced it.
    I can only say to all that have experienced it never give up and no job is worth your health and well being. God Bless you all.
    Love and Peace..Sharon

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