Tell Your Story! Posted on July 4, 2011 by bullyinworkplace Redirect: https://bullyinworkplace.com/your-stories/ Share this:TwitterPrintEmailFacebookLinkedInMoreRedditPinterestPocketTumblrLike this:Like Loading... Related
I have learned that you have to investigate potential employers just like they do job applicants. I know that the motivation for any company is profit as it should be but, when that profit disregards the health and well being of employees you are in a dangerous place. Companies stress that safety is first and when an accident happens it is always the victims fault, regardless of where or how it happened it is your fault. It’s the same with workplace bullying by complaining you draw attention to a major problem no one wants to address therefore the victim is left to fend for themselves. Bullying is a no win situation the victim loses money, health, respect, dignity, job, sanity and sometimes their lives and some people have the nerve to say we dont need another law.
It is interesting how most of the stories have a common vein that the people bullied were very good in their work. Bullies will only pick on a strong employee with good work skills, because weaker employees have either succumbed to them already, and are coerced into doing the dirty work of the bullies to keep their jobs – thus mobbing occurs. A work team is only a good as the weakest link, and if the manager or the department head is the weakest link, then you should look for a better company for a career.
I worked as a System Implementor and Trainer and was bullied/harassed for almost 8 months before I was forced out of my job by a new female manager. I also experienced mobbing in the area I worked in. My demise started when the manager spread lies about me to the work team and department head. Both her and the department head discredited me to other employees, within the company, new department staff, as well as to clients before and after I was terminated. I was aware that both held a meeting with a junior staff member and tried to coerce her to admit to negative things that I supposedly said and done (events the manager made up). She was a confident young woman and didn’t buy into their tactics and she was picked on as well until she left. A client also advised me of the undermining going on behind my back.
Because the bullies were poor managers, I was blamed for everything that went wrong in the department for instance, an anti-bullying memo was put up in the coffee room while I was on holidays. The department head accused me of doing it, when I came back to the office (I was out of the province). For managers to have so much time to play these games and ignore the real work (ie. client wasn’t invoiced for almost 18 months and wouldn’t have been if I didn’t do it – the accountability for invoicing clients was a not done.
I was very good in my profession which involved a lot of travel and working independently with clients which was why the management could derail my efforts because no one really gets to know everyone very well. I received many thank you letters and small token gifts from other employees and clients for my support to them. It appears that bullies, whether they are a co-worker, manager or department head, are insecure individuals, most often incompetent in their role and then combine this with mental issues.
Judy, good point at the top of your post about most targets being very good in their work. If one did not talk to other people you would be going over your actions repeatedly and wonder what had you done. At one employer, I was suspended for coming in late – nevermind all the times I had stayed late. They thought they could just get a representative from the vendor who’s system we had just acquired. When I came back, he almost knocked me down trying to get out, and they asked me if I would consider not taking my vacation that had been scheduled prior to suspension. Of course I took my vacation. After the suspension, manager from other dept’s stuffed my personnel folder with examples of my good work – unbeknownst to me. Only my manager and HR person knew and they neither mentioned it to me nor acted in any fashion one would expect from such praising. One of the last things that was done before I left was that they hired someone and told them they were my supervisor without telling me. It wasn’t until we were having a system crisis and they were in my face so much that I had to tell them “to leave me alone”. That’s when I found out they were under the impression they were in a supervisory role in reference to me – but we were the same level. My manager claimed that had been a mistake.
Every story is similiar. it is sad that it seems to be getting to be more and more.
bullies should be made to pay something to the targets who loss their jobs, dignity, for damages they caused, etc etc, they should be punished big time……..I hate bullies, big or small…..did they do this in school when they were school age? were they born this way? if i recall, one of my bullies at work, was in face a miss know it all in school, not very pretty, but sure bullied others in school, and still doing that today……..man she even bullied her mother…….
I hate bullies
I was bullied by two bully bosses in my last profession – both were aggressive Type A personalities, who were very good at spinning lies (truth with a twist). The Manager was female and the Director was male and had some kind of relationship, because I understood that he knew she made up stories and he once commented that she was a negative person. I observed that what makes a bully boss have subordinate managers that are also bullies is the fact that the incompetent boss appointed/promoted incompetent managers, so one ends up with a department that is not productive. All subordinates were aware of the managers’ incompetence and she surfed the internet minimally 50% of her working day. She was abusive to a young new employees, as well as myself. She would slam doors, evesdrop and spread gossip about everyone including her boss, the Director. She even mentioned to new employees that he hated hiring women.
I am a critical care nurse of tweleve years. Since 1999, I have been slapped, called derogatory names, tormented, controlled by my co-workers and my supervisors. I came home after being told I had breast cancer, which was a misdiagnosis. I needed, and wanted to be closer to my family. I was hired at [redacted], In Utica, New York as an open heart nurse. It was my dream come true, after working so hard to be a critical care nurse. My preceptor, kept putting her stomach up against my left leg, even after moving away, she continued to physically violate me. She would use fear tactics, about the cardiac surgeon, Dr. [redacted], and use the silent treatment,and not answer my questions, Which is extremely dangerous in an open heart critical care unit. I would not recieve help to turn or move my patients. She would tell family members lies about my skills.I was told by my co-workers at night, that my night time precptor had treated prior new employees very badly. Her manager knew, that I was being mstreated, and changed me to another preceptor, whom called me a F___ing Ho, after asking what unfractioned heparin meant. My night preceptor would not sign off my skills so, I could get off orientation, another controlling issue she used against me. I resigned immediately, and have been fighting with New York State to receive my unemployment benefits,for eight months now, still denied to this day. I contacted the Legal Aid society in Syracuse, and Utica, and was told they did not have the funding to help me.I unerwent a cardiac catherization from the stress of working with my night time preceptor, which turned out to be coronary artery spasms. I sat at the bottom of my dads’ driveway, and had to decide to pull out in front of a blue gasoline tanker, instead of going to work with my controlling, intimidating, physically abusive nigth time precpetor. I decide at that poitn, that no weasle, snake, or evil person is worth taking my own life. Recently; I was in a homeless shelter, until I could start my new job in Buffalo, a four hour drive from my family.
I have suffered psychologically, financially, physically, and am still struggling with fear, of going through the same work place bullying at my new job.
I am a Unted States Air Force Veteran/Paramedic/Registered Nurse.
I am truly sorry to the faimily of Jodie Zebell, and Kevin Morrisey, and the family members of the employees who took their lives, due to mean nasty, controlling jealous bosses, and co-workers.
We need to work together, to get the Healthy Workplace Bill passed in 21 states. Please write to your assembly person, senators, governor, and our president to get the Healthy Workpace Bill passed. Check out the Workplace Bullying Instittue.
I need to leave an update. I am going through workplace bullying at my new position, as a ICU nurse, and a local Veterans Hospital. Gossiping behind my back, clamping my piggyback medications, and unpluggng my tube feeding, totally ignoring my questions, and acusing me of doing taks wrong, when I am 100 percent sure, the task were done correctly. I have implemented a double check for myself to be sure the nursing tasks are being done correctly. Yet, my preceptor cleans up a MRSA patients stool,with her bare hands, and dumps MRSA sputum onto the floor from the patients T-piece. My bully is my preceptor, with 30 years experience at the same facility. When does the mistreatment ever stop?I asked to be put into a housekeeping position instead of an RN position, and was outright denied. I just want to do my job, and take care of my veterans.
1) From the time I started, I asked her if 2 times a week should could come in before 9:15 so we could discuss business. She has refused. I am here at 7:40 everyday and thought that discussing business would be best done before hours rather than in between patients.
2) She arrives, and leaves and never acknowledges me. No “hello”, no “good bye” – nothing.
3) She refuses to address me by name, usually referring to me as “that one”.
4) She has others relay messages to me rather than speaking to me directly and when she DOES speak to me directly she is hostile, beligerant, demanding, and accusatory.
5) Whether it is my fault or not, she blames me, even to the point of lying.
6) She accuses me of harassing employees despite the fact that there is staff who vehemently deny that ever occurred.
7) She has made it virtually impossible for me to manage the staff/office as her level of micro-management has gotten out of hand. I am pretty much prevented from doing anything that would improve the business as a whole.
8) I am not allowed to expect the biller to do anything more than simple data entry. When I ask her to do A/R follow up and give her projects to clean up the A/R, the biller runs to Doc and says I am harassing her even though other employees have said that isn’t true. The other clerical staff wonder on a daily basis, what the biller is doing with her time as everyone else seems to be doing her job.
9) Drug reps have said that they will cut down their visits to the office because she is so toxic, and the environment is so awful in here.
10) One drug rep described her as “despicable”, saying she is as bad as they come.
11) She has complained openly and loudly in front of patients that they had no business coming in without an appointment and expecting to be seen. (no tact). Shemakes patients feel awful for having an emergency and needing to come in.
12) When the cable TV had an issue with not receiving FOX NEWS (the only channel she will permit to be on), we put on another channel with entertaining content. She turned off the TV, rather than let the patients watch something other than FOX NEWS, then claimed that Obama did it because it was Glenn beck’s last show. One patient wanted to watch the Phillies game but she turned the TV off rather than make the patient happy.
13) She insists on imparting her political and religious views on people. She is extremely vocal on her hatred of Obama and anything Democrat and also has said that we all need to go to church more. She specifically told me that the current problems I am having with my children would be resolved if I would just go to church with her.
14) She spends her time in with M, talking trash about everyone and then criticizes the staff when the patient flow is not moving as smoothly as it should.
15) She criticizes the staff because no one wants to eat lunch in the kitchen with her. Staff have taken to sitting in their cars because they can’t stand listening to her badmouth everyone at lunch, and when some of us ate in another office one day, she sent out a memo saying that people could not eat anywhere BUT the kitchen (forcing us to sit with her and listen to her and her negativity).
16) K, the biller has been given numerous projects to improve cash flow and has consistently made the excuse that she does not have time. She then runs to doc and says I am harassing her which all the other staff deny. So doc has decided that instead of speaking to ME about this (the administrator), she speaks to Kristin’s PEERS which is extremely unprofessional.
17) She never commends anyone on their hard work. All she does is talk “shit” about everyone to anyone who will listen. She talks about everyone to everyone – very unprofessional.
18) She DAILY undermines my efforts to improve the flow/income/productivity of the office contradicting everything I am trying to do:
a. Protecting the biller when I am trying to get her to collect the money owed to the offices
b. Disapproving of the revised schedule which would reduce/eliminate patient backlog and improve the front desk in their scheduling of patients.
c. Shifting around some duties and responsibilities off of the biller so that she can concentrate on billing/A/R as her usual excuse for not working the A/R is because she says she has no time.
19) One of the first things she asked me to handle was employee lateness as many employees (including the biller) show up 10-15 minutes late everyday. When I commented on this CONTINUED lateness I was accused of harassing her. MRB chose not to support me when I was trying to do what SHE asked me to do. Staff continue to show up late however I no longer say anything because if I do comment that they need to show up on time, I will be accused of harassing them. The staff who can manage to come in on time really resent this as they (and I) feel everyone should show up and be ready to work by 8:30 or their scheduled start time.
20) She refuses to support my decisions, even the smallest ones, being combative and undermining me on a daily basis. She is extremely unprofessional/immature.
21) Every day she exhibits anger/hostility/vendictiveness/childishness towards pretty much everyone.
22) She refuses to do more than 8-10 cases a day and when 10 cases are scheduled, she finds a way to cancel one because she cannot handle anymore.
23) When I first arrived, I sat down with all the staff individually and spoke to them about myself/my management style and also got to know them. Almost everyone had a horror story about MRB and how she has treated them, how abusive she is to them, and how horrible she has made their lives. No employee should ever have to come to work and be harasses/ignored/ or treated with anything but respect and dignity. There are also lots of incidents in the employees charts documenting her reprehensible behavior towards them.
24) She NEVER accepts responsibility for her bad behavior. It is ALWAYS everyone else!!!! She never sees what HER actions do to people. There is a REASON why K finally had enough and left. There is a REASON why 3 PACU nurses quit in one day. There is a REASON why there is no DON anymore in this office. She makes people’s lives so miserable until they have no choice but to quit.
25) L, C, doc and I all attended a wedding for A (one of our staff). There was also a former employee (J) there. L, J and I all sat together for the ceremony and then hung together for cocktail hour. Doc came over and criticized what everyone was wearing. I had on Capri pants and a dress top with sandals. After dinner jeanette’s husband came over and asked me to dance. When he walked me back to the table she and Carol abruptly left. On Monday she went in to m’s office and said she HAD to leave once J and I started tickling each other and how “people” wore shorts and flip flops to the wedding. She then related the “tickling” thing to L who said “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” THAT NEVER HAPPENED!!!! M and L told me and then I asked her why she would be spreading those lies about me? I asked her what she was talking about and was expecting an answer but she abruptly changed the subject and made a comment about J being my new BFF. I told her that was not the case at all. Since J is a FORMER employee who QUIT because of Doc’s behavior, Doc was very unhappy that we were all together and having a good time. Her jealousy and childish behavior is completely unacceptable!!!!!! From that point on, she has refused to speak to me. I do not appreciate anyone making up lies about me. She lies about everyone, causing trouble wherever she goes.
26) I would venture to say that EVERY employee who ever quit from here did so quite justifiably and because of her continued and extreme harassment and unprofessional behavior. She will make someone’s life so miserable that they have no choice but to quit because she refuses to pay unemployment.
27) Staff who were here when K was here now say that Doc treats me just like she treated K. I actually emailed K and asked her how she lasted so long and her response was “did you see the wet bar”?
28) I make a point of treating people the way I want to be treated and so for now I have “taken” her abuse but I don’t know how much longer that will be the case. I hate seeing her treat my staff badly and they hate being victimized by her on a daily basis. I have done nothing to deserve this.
29) Instead of speaking to me, she leaves notes on my desk. She is completely unapproachable and hostile.
30) Her family wants nothing to do with her. She has no friends except the priest next door and if he knew how she treated us all, I venture to say he would not be friends with her either. She goes to church every Sunday but is probably the worst Catholic I have ever met. She spews venom EVERYDAY!!!!
31) She would rather me call the Delaware County Daily Times and complain when she doesn’t get her newspaper than to do my job. She barks orders at me and makes me feel like it’s my fault that the paper didn’t come.
The bottom line is (Learned from Many years experience at toxic workplaces).
1. If they are out to get you, and gang up on you, you don’t have a prayer.
2. Try to get out while you can….in this economy, that is usually impossible.
3. NO MATTER WHAT, DON”T QUIT…..They will make things BEYOND hellish, to make you quit, so they don’t have to pay Unemployment, but DON”T DO IT< TOUGH IT OUT!
Think of the money you'll leave behind! Make them FIRE YOU! They probably will come up with a lame excuse like staff reduction….good, all the better. TOUGH IT OUT, you'll be glad you listened to me!
I began a new director position in higher education over a year ago. Bullying from my direct reports and supervisor began within the first three months. Eventually, my staff “mobbed” me and were supported by my boss (an officer), and HRD. I came to the work with all good intentions, my whole heart, and committed to collaborative management (which has worked well for me in the past). I entered an extremely toxic environment. Even peers and faculty were reportedly encouraged by my boss to harass me and to embellish the truth, so that I appeared to always be in the wrong or harming a project or person. People told bold lies about me and my boss believed them. His response to me “you are new, I can’t trust you, I have to trust people with a work history here”.
The whole higher ed scene is often toxic, but this went beyond the pale, I was constantly ill and on several occasions could hardly breathe, My secretary attacked me publicly, after privately assuring me she was on my side,
Shortly after this she began to attack me privately and deny it when confronted.
I was denied union representation by HRD officer and my supervisor in meetings with my staff members and their union reps. I told them they should be ashamed of themselves.
One staff member (who retired sixmonths into my employment) repeatedly stared at my bosom when I spoke with her. A faculty member told me my breasts were too big and asked what kind of bra I wore. When I told her, she said I was doing the best I could. She told me I should lose weight and wear the uniform of black or gray suits. She told me ( I am a cancer survivor) to “do something a bout my hair” (it was only just growing back) and that male faculty made “ugly comments” about y breasts —b ut not who or what they said.
This became a pattern at the institution, from my supervisor to HR, I was frequently told people “complained” about me for one unfounded reason or another, but was never given any details. My supervisor implied that I lied on my resume because I referred to subordinates as part of my team, rather than “subordinates.” (My philosophy has always been to work as a team, and I always talked about my staff “working with” rather than “for” me (which to me always sounded officious anyway.)
In the interviews my team approach was praised, in practice, it was attacked. After working hard to deal with staff complacency, My secretary told me I did not deserve the job and she planned to get me fired. She was supported by management and HR. The management at this institution is a total joke.
I later learned she has pulled crap on other people when she did not get her way.
This institution would rather spend money protecting status quo than making any authentic progress/growth.
The position and my supervisor’s management was all a sham, It is particularly hard because I loved the work itself and had a real affection for my team. Ultimately, the culture of isolated “silos” prevailed and my efforts at collaboration were trashed.
Someday when I sort it out it will make a darned good article. Hanging on to confidence and self esteem, as well as my faith, in the midst of all this harassment and ultimate mobbing by subordinates and supervisor, was draining and impacted my energy, immune system, spiritual health and even worse, the stress just kept on and on, there was no way to recover from the stress — accusations would come at me out of left field several times a week and
I never could understand it or figure out why/where /what happened. It felt sort of like the movie “Gaslight” (which no one at that place knew about which should tell you something – – they don’t even have a broad understanding of popular culture – they are really truly isolated and seem to like it that way)
All I did on the weekends was sleep to try to recover from the week. Sunday nights I never slept.
The result is they decided to non renew me, however an attorney says I have an excellent case for discrimination based on age, disability, sexual harassment (the problem of my breasts) – – but I don’t want to spend my time working on the negative.
I want to be constructive and work towards a new position -someplace where my skills and collaborative, egalitarian management style and creative/critical thinking, non profit and for profit and fundraising successes, background and knowledge, will be useful and help an organization move forward. I also just LOVE to work. (which reportedly was also a problem)
Keeping my head in the midst of this has taken lots of prayer and really challenged my faith practice.
Keeping a St Michael prayer card handy and a rosary in my pocket helped. I had to pray almost constantly.
It still hurts, but will be over soon. Then I will have to decide which way to go – “turn the other cheek” and move forward, and let go of the whole thing, or, alternatively, pursue legal avenues for justice. As a cancer survivor, I just feel life is too short to spend on “non-constructive” activities and to some degree, I believe being litigious can potentially generate bad karma.
Cast your bread upon the waters and it will return to you” as the wisdom goes – – so I still want to do good things and help make an organization healthy and successful. I have a lot to contribute!!
All of this probably started from people being fearful – and fighting people’s unfounded fears can really be a waste of time. I prefer to use my time well moving forward.
In the future I will look closely at an organization and insist on interviewing my own team befre accepting a position.
Almost all jobs suck…it is better to have your own home based business!
I was a victim of lateral violence in the workplace for the past 7 months before they decided to let me go. I worked for a major health insurance company & was subcontracted with another company. Some people from the subcontractor made up lies about me that were totally untrue, yet my so called leadership believed them & used it against me in a CAP (corrective action plan). I have been in health care for the past 35 years & never in my life have experienced anything like this! The company mentality is to just be a ‘good little Nazi’, in my opinion. My immediate supervisor was very condescending to me & treated me like I was a complete idiot, when in fact, I believe she was the idiot as she had no clue what the line of business she was managing was about. She always had to ask her ‘helpline’, before she could answer a question, which she could never do alone. I truly believe they wanted me out because I was well paid & they could replace me with someone who they can pay much less. I am considering a lawsuit but realize cases such as mine are difficult to prove.
I was hired at a non-profit in Pepper Pike, OH in 2008 as the IT Director. My very long road began when my employer directed me to implement file system security that made confidential patient information available to non-medical employees of the organization. When my superiors insisted that I act in manner not consistent with HIPAA and, in effect, directing me to break the law, I filed notice with the department of health. I was demoted, had my pay cut, was forced to work in a small closet and finally termination of my employment resulted and then legal actions were pursued. Shortly after the legal actions began, my now former employer began accusing me of hacking into their systems and performing various activities. My attorney in the civil case determined that it would be too expensive to continue because he would need to also defend me on the criminal side. Several months later the dissolution of the civil suits on both sides was negotiated. The settlement implied that each party would drop all actions against the other; however, I was unaware that attorneys for my former employer had filed a related criminal complaint against me, charging me with unauthorized use of property/computer system. Several months later, I found myself being indicted on 5 felony accounts and had to hire a criminal attorney. You’ll find that most criminal attorney’s want anywhere from 10k-50k retainers. I was lucky enough to find one that only wanted $2500. The indictment has been some learning experience. After being indicted and a pretrial date set, I had to go downtown to the courthouse. Once at the court house you sit there for hours only to find out that they are postponing and setting the pretrial for another date or they offer you a plea bargain. These pretrial dates may be a week, two weeks, or a month later and sometimes you don’t know until a couple days before and the court system expects you to stop your life and run down there. After going down to the court house for almost a year and turning down several plea offers, I agreed to plead to a misdemeanor offense of attempted access, not because I was guilty but for the following reasons:
1. The prosecution was not acknowledging the new evidence presented by the defense.
2. I could not afford the cost of a trial, which I was told would be well over $10,000 in legal fees
3. The sentence on the misdemeanor plea of attempted access would be limited to 6 months parole, fines around $200, and judgment could be expunged after 1 ½ years.
4. I felt it wasn’t fair to my new employer to keep postponing major projects so I could spend time in court
5. I had received a call from my mother that morning informing me that her doctor thought she had cancer
After the plea had been entered and while waiting for sentencing I spent many hours going through the actual evidence that had been turned over to the Court by my attorney in my defense. This evidence showed that my former employer and attorney instructed Information Systems contractors from CDW to hack into my personal home systems on several occasions and that my former employer was destroying evidence that I could have used to prove I was innocent.
Returning for the actual sentencing which was a month later and finding out that my former employer was pulling invoices out of his closet and that the actual monetary award was going to be several thousand and that I would be paying my former employers attorney fees in the amount of $3,775, I wanted to let the judge know what was actually in the evidence and to withdraw the plea but was told not to say anything and that it was too late. During the sentencing the judge listed all kinds of reasons to appeal. I had my attorney file the appeal immediately after which cost another $2k. My attorney did not appeal everything like he was supposed to; he only appealed the amount my former employer was awarded for re-securing their desktops which was around $2,400 and the appeal was won. I never have gotten a response as to why he did not appeal everything. After winning the appeal the judge issued a resentencing date.
During the plea the Court determined that the dissolution agreement for the civil actions did not cover criminal activity so I went to my local Parma police station with the evidence to file a police report. The local police station turned me away for 2 weeks and I finally told them I was not leaving until I filed a report. After the report was filed it was sent to the Parma prosecutor who told me it was definitely a criminal offence but he wasn’t sure how to write it up and I would have to find someone to help him. I called the county prosecutor’s office several times and was told that this was not normal procedure and the prosecutor has a point of contact if he has questions. I related this info to the Parma prosecutor and his response was that there were over 145 prosecutors and he was not going to call. This back and forth went on for almost 8 months. I then went to the FBI and spoke with an agent. The FBI Agent then spoke with the Parma prosecutor and the FBI agent and I thought it was going to be sent down to the county. When I continued to get the run around I took the Parma prosecutors responses, which were in sms text to my phone and wrote a letter to the Parma law director, mayor and various other city officials. Within 3 or 4 days the Parma prosecutor had spoke with a county prosecutor and sent the information down. In the mean time, I also filed a report with the Ohio Attorney General and the Federal Trade Commission and Office of Disciplinary Counsel.
I have sent many letters to the prosecutor that was contacted at the county level and the county prosecutor’s office is well aware of these activities and so far has not even made an acknowledgement nor has contacted the FBI. The FBI is willing to help out in an investigation. All of the letters I have sent were mailed with either return signature or registered mail.
During this process of trying to get charges filed against my accusers I was informed by the FBI that if there was not a direct monetary cost related to their activities then there is no crime. With the appellate court’s decision, my former employer has no direct related cost, however, I do. Therefore, I feel that if the prosecutor’s office is not going to file charges against my former employer and its representatives for what they did then this case against me which I plead to attempted access should be reversed and dismissed. I plan on telling this to the judge next time I see her but with the very tight relationship my former employer has with the county prosecutor’s office, I doubt anything will be rectified. I’ve been trying to find an attorney that would initiate the criminal charges against my former employer since the county prosecutor’s office is totally avoiding this and so far it all comes down to money. If you have thousands of dollars to spend then you can get justice, otherwise you are just screwed. Now I also have confirmation that my former employer is speaking to my current CEO, and has given her an earful. I only have an idea of the lies he would be telling her and with the way the system is setup, one really has no protection. If anyone out there has a solution, I would like to hear it.
my supervisor is a contemptous person. I have never said anything nor did anything that would warrent termination. Yet I have been threatened with repeatedly. So finally I turned on her called her out spelled out how I was tired of her passing the buck and perhaps she should be a leader or at least read a book on the subject. I stood up for my family. Now she really does lack inteligence and her supervisor is a no good non-thinking bully which is an issue she is dealing with….
I never thought that what I endured as a child, I would also endure as an adult. Bullying in the workplace is so demoralizing and invalidating. I have been the victim of workplace violence for over 8 years for reporting behaviors that were unethical and hurtful. I am a female and the bully is also a female who is a little older than I am and has an administrative position. Not everyone was meant to be a supervisor but it does not matter because workplace violence is a culture that is promoted in CT and if one decides to set onself apart from that corrupt culture the person becomes the problem is targetted and the bully and her supportive team will stop at nothing to discredit, defame and humiliate their target by mobbing and threatening.
I have not worked in a couple of months. I had to take a break because I became so depressed and anxious that I just could not deal with the constant attacks. I became ill and you want to know what the sad part is?
I work for an agency that is funded by the government to provide services to the chronically mentally ill. I wish god would grant me one wish. I wish all the workplace bullies in the world could get a tatse of their own practices. These bullies are cowards who intentionally hurt others and what has been done to me is sickening but as I have read and heard others tell their stories it appears to be a major problem that we need to speak up about on a consistent basis.
findI have been told to my face while my boss laughed at me before taking a leave “I’m ok if you
I hope you’ve taken time to speak with an employment attorney. Retaliation is usually something that is actionable and you need to talk with someone who can look at the particulars of your situation.
I was bullied/mobbed for 18 months by a new supervisor and her staff 1/2 of which had been my trainees for 2 years and unbeknownced to me where/are close friends of the supervisor. I was the lead in a highly technical position for a decade and I had worked in that program for 22 years. The new people including the supervisor had vertylittle to no knowledge or experience in the work at hand. They set out on a course to denegrate all 22 tears of work I had accomplished. Everthing I did was wrong, everything that I ever did was wrong. Staff with 7 months of experience were writing work standards and I was excluded ;when I took exception to the documents I was forced to work 9 hours overtime as punishment. I was excluded from Every meeting except staff meetings, wgere I was either ignored or yelled at. I was written up for every trumped up excuse they could think of. I was ostracised, humiliated, shunned! I was told to retire because I was old, that I could not change, (age discrmination) as I was the oldest woman in the office. My reputation was severly damaged, they planted horrid notes in my work area then “found” them and accused me of all sorts of bad acts. I was held responsible for mitakes that were not my responsibility, and the responsible parties were never disciplined. I had people yelling at me all the time, actually in my face. I told my HR dept, I told the chief, I told the director, I told the administrator. Nothing was done. After 21 years of exceptional evaluations I was downgraded to less and zero. I asked for a transfer and was willing to take a demotion to get away from the abuse. Instead she was allowed to trump up more charges and I was demoted then allowed to transfer.
For the last year and 1/2 they still have been slandering me. Now 1 1/2 years later she had 22 charges against her including extortion and all she had to do was say I will sue you for racial discrimination and nothing happened to her! Then 1/4 of her staff was tranfered into my new work area and the bullying is starting all over again! I am about 5 years from retirement and I am not sure I can tough it out!
I hope that you are speaking with someone with legal expertise in employment law who can help to guide you in this. Also, I trust that you have built a strong support system of counselors (drs) who can help you – and your family – through this. Warm soft prayers to you – Bev
It is so apparent that the bullies are always the incompetent people in the department, who are in a supervisory roll and have a relationship with the boss/HR. I especially feel for workplace warrior, because similar incidents happened to me before I was bullied out of my job by an incompetent supervisor and department heard. The supervisor would say and do things that were not proper and then blame me for it. She even said that the Department Head did not like women in his department and when confronted by another employee, she said “Judy said it”. This supervisor yelled in the face of other employees and myself, making lying accusations and was always out of control. She would take emails I have written and spin them in a different way to the Department Head. He seemed to listen to everything she said. This would lead me to believe he was as incompetent as her or they had a relationship. Both of these individuals slandered me to other employees and clients, who advised me that this was happening.
I can relate to many of these comments; isecurity and jealousy; our bully likes like a Stepford Wife with a plastic face and everything perfect but she runs around behind everyone’s back and undermines and defames everything they do; always comments that the place would never run without her. Decided to really pick on me about 18 months ago; had a couple of good rounds; she was outright caught lying but pulled an Elizabeth Taylor” acting scene worth an academy award, in tears, actually claimed dimensia and got sent home til she felt better. I didn’t even get an apology, not even from the boss who I told him it was his job not mine to control her. The staff morale is horrendous and he asks about it but has his head so far up – – – – – – – you know whose behind; yeah the inappropriate relationship so that he has lot his management abilities and perspectives; so many indicidents; I go on holidays and another comes up and I come home to being fired without cause after 10 years and being #1 in my position. Anger, betrayment, abuse, bullying – all of it; I am taking them all to supreme court. And I am writing a book on all the feelings, the devasation it does; have a writing and teaching background – and then I am fighting for the laws to be changed and educating the world if it is the last thing I do. I don’t know if it is allowed but if anyone wants to share their story with me; I will be writing and then do a documentary. write me if this is allowed to; firstname.lastname@example.org
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Horizontal violence is so devastating.
I was severely bullied, harassed, and targeted for over a year by my superiors.
I reported serious issues of fraud and client abuse to state oversight agencies, and when this was discovered by management, my life was made a living hell. The oversight agencies did not fully investigate, even though vulnerable citizens were neglected, abused, and died, and there were multiple witnesses and documentation to corroborate my claims.
My superiors systematically lied about me to my co-workers, and then solicited letters from these workers describing what a terrible person I was. I felt so betrayed. Many of these co-workers who wrote libelous letters had no problem with my acting as their advocate to secure salary upgrades, and while I was sticking my neck out for them, they were stabbing me in the back.
I sought legal recourse as my exemplary 30 year career was destroyed, and I was placed on administrative leave for bogus charges. My nightmare only grew worse as I was denied witnesses at hearings, and never allowed to present my case. I hired unethical attorneys who took thousands of dollars from me, and then sold me out. I was terminated by a department head who lied extensively when she testified against me, and who participated in fraud, medical record tampering, and gross misconduct.
My last hope for justice was a federal civil rights claim. The judge sat on the case for four years. Witnesses never were deposed, and when I filed a grievance against my attorney due to his misconduct, the judge (whom my attorney claimed was a friend) was verbally abusive towards me. I never could have imagined how immoral and corrupt our legal system is.
My only hope for justice is to expose the lies and extensive workplace bullying via the media. Maybe, maybe, these bullies will not be allowed to strike again.
DC – my bully boss was ex-military who abused his bullish power in a clever, and covert manner. He was very plausable and charming when i first met him, a wonderful disgise to all who first met him. Then i got to know him, and for the two-faced aggressive, evil fraudster that he was. He would shout at start, make them feel intimidated. He was very clever, most bullies are, yet got defensive when he felt under attack. I managed to save myself from the torture by telling him how his behaviour (on my last working day there) had affected me, and i did this in front of our finance director. Oh and by the way, for the record, be very careful of HR, especially where bully managers are concerned. HR are most interested in the organsation and not you the employee. I am now in a job where i am much happier, and even a wiff of bullying i stand up to and nip it in the bud! Bullying changes you, it changed me, and i must say everyone has noticed a difference in me. I know how to stand up for myself now, you must take personal control, and do not rely on anyone (like HR) for real support. I wish all of you who have been bullied, strength and dignity, and love and support from good friends and other people who have had this misforune of such a terrible expereince. I also believe that life presents itself with these challanges to make us stronger and mentally healthier. Bullies will never get away it, trust me, life has it’s own way of getting back at nasty, ugly people.
Thank you for this site! I have worked at my job for 12 years. My manager came here 6 years ago from another site, was demoted to supervisor when I stepped down (trying to get away from her), then promoted back to manager 3 years ago when the manager left. She is incompetent and has very poor time management skills. I am literally awesome at my job, and I truly believe she is jealous and intimidated by me. Right before she became manager 3 years ago, I was taken to lunch by our acting manager and told that “L” was not going anywhere and I had to get along with her or else. I honestly feel the director does not know I was threatened. She really likes me but I think she has a loyalty to both of those managers. Two years ago she hired a new supervisor who has saved my sanity, but the crap continues – only now I have someone to validate how I’ve been feeling. (as well as another supervisor in another department she manages.) My supervisor T tells me she’s ready to quit on any given day.
People all over my building know to call me for help because L doesn’t have a clue, though she likes to pretend she does. She had never actually done the work for our company so she is always spouting stuff which I then have to correct. Almost two years ago, I was written up for not defending the management team – I made the mistake of mentioning how I was doing my work, some of L’s work and some of T’s work, and someone overheard this and reported it to the director (yes, lesson learned, even if it’s the truth!) T and I get along well. We run the department working together but L constantly tries to micromanage!
We tried to fix some of the issues in the department but because L allows people to come sit for hours and complain, then believes what they say, it undermines what we do. We have several known liars (and embellishing is still lying) and now at least two have gone to her with lies about me. They skipped over T because they know she won’t listen to their BS. We had made a policy that if anyone complained they had to have a solution, or if it was directed at someone else, all parties needed to meet. T does this and it had cut down on it, but now they’ve turned on us both. Said I have been on Facebook instead of working and that I stand around for hours talking! I was more angry that L believed them without question than anything! WTH! And L made T tell me a month later. Of course I argued back and she didn’t have answers so I finally asked to meet with them tomorrow to get it all out. I am under no illusions as L talks out both sides of her face. She’ll try to placate me, I’m sure. Most likely because she pulled productivity and I ranked 2nd out of 19 employees, without including the 20%+ time I spend on my lead duties! Take that!! If I was wasting so much time, how could I get my work done? I’m sure she’ll have a “but” and I’m ready for her.
My husband cheated on me over two years ago and I found out at work. I went to L and explained what had happened and why I had been on the Sprint site at work which was how the calls ex was making were discovered. She was totally fine and actually appears to be a nice person and helped me thru. Well, A went and told lies about the whole thing to people in the department. A and L as we as several others have low self esteem – I see it and work around it, but I had told L I was going to talk to A and tell her she should not spread rumors, and L okayed it. A admitted she has a problem but still continues to do this. I wrote her off as a friend but still treat her in a respectful professional manner. A told T she wants her to make people be friends with A! T told her know so now she’s claiming we have a hostile environment she can’t work in. She also has only one “friend” left who also is a documented liar. I believe the two of them concocted the lies and L believed because she really is jealous of me.
A went to L after failing to get a job in another dept. L sent her to HR but said I am the common denominator thru those few complaints. Now I get what mobbing is! T wouldn’t listen to the crap – when she tells the complainer let’s all get together they back off saying they don’t like confrontation or to be retaliated against! Really? I could lose my job over that and I am a single mother! I would do nothing to jeopardize my job! HR told T that they wanted to talk to all individuals involved but I want them to talk to everyone. I don’t complain and neither do most people though there are many days we are fed up. Squeaky wheel gets the grease?!
Because of L’s mistrust she wanted me to move my hours back to first from a third/first swing shift. Like I am four years old and need monitored? I fought it up to the director and T backed me up (L was off most of December) – and we showed how it would negatively impact the department. The director said if it’s not broke don’t fix it so I am allowed to keep the hours for now. Funny thing, when we lost a third shift tech, no one else stepped up to help or even have a solution and I proposed this. It ends up working well for me, too. Amazing how two allegations that can easily be PROVEN – security tapes can be viewed to see if we’re standing around and history canbe pulled from my computer – are believed. What happened to backing up the management team? Does L get written up now? I have to speak with employees sometimes about confidential stuff so if people see me talking they need to mind their own business! I expect L to back me up on that but now I know she doesn’t trust me. Can’t wait to see how tomorrow goes!
The director doesn’t even want L as the manager but there’s nothing to do. I think I make more hourly than the manager (we had different pay scales when the company bought the one I worked for) so that pisses her off too I know no one is indispensable but my department will suffer greatly if I leave.
Judy’s story is interesting. I believe I work in a similar culture with some variations.
This story isn’t about me but my old girlfriend, Amanda. Amanda was the best girl in the world but she was very vulnerable. I never knew she was being bullied; especially by my own older sister, Casey. From what I heard after it was too late Casey had beaten up Amanda and called her ugly names and it all. One night Amanda couldn’t take it. She called me and said “Seth, I want you to know that I’m sorry and thank you but good bye.” Then she hung up. I had no clue what she was talking about until the next day, I go to a friend’s house and her dad is a cop and Sammy told me “it’s on the news didn’t you hear?!” I’m like “What?! What happened?!” And Sammy told me to talk to her dad so I asked him what happened. He sits me down and tells me that Amanda had jumped from the roof of her house and died. I thought he was joking until I remembered the phone call. She was saying goodbye for good. After her funeral I started wondering why she would do this. About a week later my sister told me that she was glad Amanda died and that she did all these things. I was shocked. HOW COULD SHE HAVE DONE THAT TO A PERSON AS INNOCENT AS AMANDA!?! To this day me and Casey hate each other. And I’m working to stop bullying. So we need to stop it, before anymore innocents is taken away.