Have you been bullied by an abusive boss or co-worker? Post a comment below to join the discussion and share your voice and experiences. Also, you can check out our national petition that has nearly 20,000 signatures and thousands and thousands of personal stories. [link]
I worked in a hospital setting as administration for a year and half and hated every minute of it. It paid the bills is the only reason to say I stayed that long!
From my first day they treated me horrible. I worked lots of over weight, sloppy, unhappy nurses. Being younger and into fitness I beck their favorite target. Dispute efforts to be friendly or busy in my work they found ways to harasses me. They would pile up work for me from the pervious shift, talk down to me, make up bad stuff to tell my boss, blow minor mistakes out proportion to make a skeptical of it and accuse me sleeping with doctors I never even spoke to outside of work. I finally quite without an imedite back plan. I’m working part time now and still have much catching up to do with the bills.
But it was worth not being abused by fat lazy nurses who made me embarrassed at there’re lack quality care for their patients.
I quit my teaching job with a good salary & benefits due to a Principal who made hell for me for 6 years. I went to HR they did nothing. I went to my Supervisor she said, “If you don’t like your job-quit”. I tried to transfer 21 times! Finally, my physical & emotional health gave way . I got sick (truly) every morning I went to work. Had nightmares, cried a lot, could not sleep. I did go to counseling- they told me- you are dealing with a bully in the work force & unless they physically harm you there is no recourse. She said its difficult to prove bullying. She gave me a workbook to work through. It offered some tactics to try. It affected every single aspect of my life. I had four years to retirement. I quit after 26 years of exemplary evaluations. The very unprofessional, vindictive, nasty, arrogant, vain, Principal still pulls in her huge salary. Principals have 100% power in that school system. I think there is a conspiracy out to get rid of teachers about to retire. To Save $. All I know is I loved teaching & was an excellent ,experienced, educator. I just had the misfortune to get a job with a Principal who took a disliking to me. When schools starts I cry because I know I should be welcoming a class to school. Oh, and did I mention…she now gives me bad recommendations. I have tried a year- all different jobs- I can’t get hired! This is a more widespread problem than anyone realizes with little recourse left. Forget HR, forget Unions, forget counseling, nothing can be done. Very sad.
My name is Jason.I am an RN. I was hired for nights, worked without any write ups, or problems. I transitioned into a day position. Here is where my nightmare began. There is a saying in healthcare that ‘Nurses Eat Thier Young” It’s true. The first day I met my new boss, I just felt strange. I would later find out, my feeling’s were right on. This Nurse manager had worked at this hospital on [redacted] for years. I found out later, that it was a known fact ( she made it known) that she came home to find her husband in bed with her son Jason’s girlfriend, producing a baby. Horrible yes. But what she did to me was worst. I had nothing to do with her dysfunction;however her hatred for me was obvious, the way she treated me. What she said to me. I am [redacted], she was married to a [redacted], the same man who fathered a child with thier son’s girlfriend. Upon my reporting her for making discriminating remarks about [redacted]‘s, she threatened to cut my balls off, and in many ways she did. A full house targeting, and sabotage in between patient care took place. Such dysfunction in hospitals exist, that is why this Bill is necessary for some kind of accountability. The VP of nursing, was charged as she ignored my reports, the VP of nursing in March was let go. Reason’s remain unknown. The COO who terminated me, also left on a Saturday morning..The NURSE MANAGER who made the threat to cut my balls off, remains in her position. I have been put through HELL. Terminated, and in deep depression. Many people who remian working there still speak about the unjust way in which I was treated. The truth is still unfolding, and will continue to unfold. My mother who also works there, became the next target. She also became the [redacted] Action Team Manager for the [redacted] Healthy Work Place.
REPLY TO JASON JUNE 27, 2014 FROM “KELLY”
Hi Jason, I can completely relate to your story. I am also an RN whom works for the [redacted] I am a Union rep, ironically the lead of Human Rights and Equatity for our local [redacted] region. I also charged a manager with harassment (also a RN) as she criticized me, yelled at me in front of my peers and became very threatening in my personal space actually walking me back wards as she yelled. I repeatedly asked this manager to quit yelling at me about a co worker coming to our site without my managers permission to learn about my program. Obviously her manager (different from mine) gave her permission to come to our site for a day. As always the front line workers never have a “say” therefore I started teaching like a good supportive RN would do with my co worker.
Shaky as I was after asking her to quit and she wouldnt I stated I would leave for break and we could continue this conversation when she calmed down.
I was actually shocked and so were my co workers at my composure. I was truely shaking inside but I guess I appeared calm on the outside.
I assumed my manager was “having a bad day and would realize how inappropriate she was and would apologize late”. Was I ever wrong!
Approx. 6 days after this incident I was informed I had a meeting and my “union rep” was going to be there. I was informed approx. 10 minutes before the meeting.
When I arrived for the meeting It was not long before I realized I was being criticized about my work performance. I immediately informed the group this meeting was retaliation due to my managers inappropriate behaviour and the fear I was going to charge her with harassment. Unfortunately I had to leave that position in the organization due to that managers constant critical behaviour. This is also against the Human Rights Code…not that this matters to government organizations whom makes the laws they just dont abide by them.
Anyhow to make a long story short Im presently banned from the office and have to “work from home” all due to charging and winning a harassment case against a manager…whom by the way is still a manager with this organization. Therefore I am constantly under scrutiny even though Ive had a perfect performance record with this organization for 10 years prior to this situation.
I just want you to know you are far from alone and even though all the negativity you have endured because of this people like myself hear you and learn from you sharing your experience. I can only hope some day there is an end to this bullying and especially and end to nurses eating their young! Thank you again for sharing.
After five years of spotless employee performance reports, I was endlessly harassed at a NC university after I challenged administration’s response to sexual assault and rape on campus. My supervisor was eventually fired and intensified attacks on me and my dignity took a huge toll on my emotional and physical health. I was told I was to be demoted but I requested and received a RIF (reduction in force) instead. I only received two months of severance pay, I am fifty two years old and I’ve gained 35 pounds as a result of all of the anguish. I have been told by a counselor that I am likely experiencing PTSD, and the birth of my beautiful grand baby, which should have been the happiest time of my life, has been marred by all of it. I am angry and depressed and nearly broke and still don’t have a job.
A close friend and co-worker committed suicide. She worked for an international law firm and was a great legal assistant. She always told me how she was bullied and harassed – lots of backstabbing – name calling all in the work place lunchroom – she was talked about behind her back, not invited to join in the office social events – the bullies in that office were mean. She left and committed her self – then when I thought she was ok – she took her life. What can I do as a friend and third party – is there any recourse i can take against this law firm for tolerating the bullying – the result of which was an former employee commititng suicide – or leaving the firm under mental distress because of the harassment and bulling. Thank yo.
REPLY: These are questions that really require a face to face with an attorney. I don’t have to tell you that suicide is tragic and deeply impacts everyone who knows the person. There are some valuable resources on the Internet – here’s one we link to http://carsonjspencer.org/ManagersGuidebook.pdf
I am happy to say I just got out of a bad situation recently. I’d like to detail one specific instance here
As a recruiter for a company I had to post jobs as one of the basic duties of my position. When the owner of this company got involved with anything, everything about that project went to hell, and he decided to involve himself in the job ad writing process quite often.
It took six meetings, each lasting 30 minutes minimum, to get one ad written. He would ‘write’ it while screaming at me, quite literally screaming, as in you could hear him a city block away and through three concrete slabs. I would called an idiot, a moron, clueless, cursed at, insulted, demeaned, and physically threatened at each ‘meeting.’ At the end of the meeting I would have a page of scrawled, nearly impossible to read sentence fragments which he would demand be published as is, no editing. So I would. Once published, like clockwork, I would get a phone call or a follow up meeting with this same moron, screaming at me, insulting me, and threatening me still more, all because he didn’t like the ad that HE wrote and demanded I post without any editing.
Similar types of insanity, to similar degrees, typified working at this place on a day to day basis. Employees are routinely insulted, demeaned, cursed at, screamed at, and threatened. The owners are a father and two sons, and they are truly the most vile, disgusting, pathetic excuses for human beings I’ve met in my life. They literally get off on abusing people. They can not retain any employees for any appreciable amount of time, salary surveys constantly put their offers at or below 25th percentile for the area they are in, and their failures are always someone else’s fault of course. I just learned my ‘replacement,’ some kid who had like a year of experience, lasted about two weeks before he was either fired or got out. God knows why the hell I stayed so long.
I spent six years recruiting for this company, hating myself for bringing people into such a hell hole. Eventually I just gave up, and thankfully they terminated me, but I guess they were paranoid about their reasons because despite this being an At Will state, where you can fire someone because the day they’re working on ends in a “y”, they still gave me a decent severance. But I am out, and I would recommend anyone looking in any area for a job consult web sites like Glassdoor and Indeed. Their ratings systems aren’t perfect, but you can get a feel for company culture through them. Certainly, my former company is rated quite adequately on Glassdoor, the owners have been called out on there for their treatment of their employees many times. And keep an ear open, because any time a recruiter or an interviewer says you need “a thick skin” to work somewhere, it’s code, and it really means their upper management are incompetent, boorish, abusive people who will make your life hell for your tenure at the company. Avoid such places like the plague if possible.
I am a federal employee and my employer has done nothing to stop the perpetrator and his DM girlfriend from bullying me. I did nothing but defend myself from a former manager that took my password and violated security. I had to defend myself. They lie about me and have made up ugly stories about me. They slashed my tires at work. No one wants to help me. I see them do it to others. I will stand my ground as long as I can to help others.
I am in my early 20s and I have been experiencing torment and hostility from a group of women (some in their early 20s and 40s) that I share an office space with but I don’t work with. We are also employed by different people but the work (research) we do are in the same area and sometimes my supervisor are part of their projects. My desk is in a hallway and surrounding me are my bullies office. One of the office belongs to my supervisor. We work in a house that was turned into a office building and belongs to a hospital. We had building problems- for example, they would keep doors open all the time and I would close it, or they would have a meeting in the conference room beside my desk, be loud while not close the door. Another time, they had a pizza party and did not clean up so we had to clean up for them.
Early December while my supervisor was away on vacation, it was only me and that group. The group was having a meeting in the conference room and started to gossip about personal things about me, which I never told them about. These things is what they heard when I had conversations with my supervisor- and talk to each other about. Anyways, they said really really hurtful things. After, I confronted their administrative assistant (which I believe is the main perpetrator-) about it. The two older ladies came and apologize to me. They made excuses like they pick on each other all the time, and etc.
The next day, I emailed my supervisor about it while she was on vacation- she said not to worry about it but she has been brushing and ignoring it off.
Their manager has told my HR department (which I overheard in the conference room) and they are apparently currently investigating it. However, I have not heard from HR since.
I have been doing extremely well on my job, working hard, and getting a lot of praises from my supervisor. A lot of people consider be a very accomplished person at my age. However, I have becoming increasingly anxious and paranoid at work that my supervisor is starting to question me. That group is also extremely nice and friendly to my supervisor and trying to look really bad. Every time I bring up the situation with my supervisor, I was told to just ignore it.
I really enjoy the work I do, however, I have been told to brush it off and ignore that group. But it is getting really hard for me since my desk is in the hallway and I am constantly surrounded by their giggles, comments (which I know is about me/directed towards me) lies and whispers.
I have a couple of colleagues who are aware of the situation. I may be making it a bigger deal than it is but I find myself waking up at the middle of the night extremely worried, anxious and feeling helpless. I am seeing a councillor next week to see how I can deal with it.
Can someone give me advice on what to do?
REPLY: I’m glad that you are seeking counsel on this because it is very difficult, and can be harmful, to seek advice online. The only thing we can have real control over is our own response to the situations we are in and to make decisions based on sound counsel is extremely helpful.
i have been working as a custorian for 15 years and this year the prinical cant be pleased with anything i do he is a maniac nothing pleases him i have had no trouble with other prinicipals he told me there was salt on the gym floor and said i didnt mop but i did when i said that he told me to shut up there will be a meeting with higher ups
I worked at a telecommunications company for 5 years. the first for years were great; I had a good working relationship with my boss. in the fifth year when I was promoted, my boss started to change on me; he would make mean remarks concerning my work infront of colleagues; he started to discriminate against me when calling for meetings, and started to accuse me of things I hadn’t done. when I tried to have a discussion with him he denied that anything was the matter and intensified his attacks to the extent of removing my parking and invading my privacy by checking my call records. he then made allegations against me of poor performance and demanded that I sign a performance improvement plan. I fought this as hard as I could but HR did not assist me. I signed it, and from then on he refused to work with me or provide any assignments. At the end of three months he filed a report that I had failed the Plan and he motivated for my dismissal. I am in anguish over what happened; I do not know if there is any way that I could have prevented what happened. but I am trying to move on with my life as best as I can
I get bullied so much at work and it’s been going on the entire time I have worked there four years. I am forced to work there by my parents and it’s a predominantly male industry with men who have no respect for women. Because I’m not in a relationship they think something is wrong with me, but the truth is I work too much and anyone I date doesn’t hang around for long because of it.
It’s a family business and ever since my sister committed suicide my family fell apart. I am stuck there cause no one else is working and cant deal with the loss.
I hate it so much. People make up lies about my sister and about me, if I’m nice to someone or help someone at work they call me a slut. They yell at me for everything that goes wrong. There are 300 people and I basically act as the gm and I’m under 30.
They get the other staff to insult me and tell me to fuck off. I can’t take it anymore and there is no way out. My parents and sisters don’t want to know. No one is listening.
I was recently bullied at my job. I resigned because I could not keep working under those conditions. The person who bullied me is always sued by former employees for her behavior. But instead of suing [name retracted] I decided to blog about it. The reason behind my blogging is to let others know that it is ok.
Judy, good point at the top of your post about most targets being very good in their work. If one did not talk to other people you would be going over your actions repeatedly and wonder what had you done. At one employer, I was suspended for coming in late – nevermind all the times I had stayed late. They thought they could just get a representative from the vendor who’s system we had just acquired. When I came back, he almost knocked me down trying to get out, and they asked me if I would consider not taking my vacation that had been scheduled prior to suspension. Of course I took my vacation. After the suspension, manager from other dept’s stuffed my personnel folder with examples of my good work – unbeknownst to me. Only my manager and HR person knew and they neither mentioned it to me nor acted in any fashion one would expect from such praising. One of the last things that was done before I left was that they hired someone and told them they were my supervisor without telling me. It wasn’t until we were having a system crisis and they were in my face so much that I had to tell them “to leave me alone”. That’s when I found out they were under the impression they were in a supervisory role in reference to me – but we were the same level. My manager claimed that had been a mistake.
I was targeted by a bully at work. This sociopath and I firmly believed she was made my life a wreck. I should have known not to take the position when during my interview I was asked “How do I handle gossip” that was the only thing I was asked other than my qualifications; not how do you handle difficult customers, or if you skip a deadline. I thought to myself, I guess gossip is a problem here. No, bullying and mobbing is a problem here. I found out later that this dept had a high rate of turnover, my position in particular. My bully was a female. Although she was not a supervisor, she had the supervisor’s protection. She not only bullied me; she bullied the customers. She was often mean and rude to them, withheld information, threw their requests away, took her sweet time processing their requests . I had a customer complain and beg me not to tell her (Her own “best friend” told me, So and So is a b–ch. that why people stay out of her way.) Everyone was afraid of her and kissed up to her shamelessly, except me. I am jumping ahead of myself. The target was placed on my back the second week I was there. Our supervisor praised me in front of the dept, and said “I hope you don’t pick up my staff’s bad habits “. This sealed my fate, the more positive attention and praise I received the more harassment I received not; only from her but all the other girls in the dept. Word of mouth spread and customers repeatedly ask for me. According to my 2nd supervisor, the 1st one screwed up (she made a big mistake, which I brought to her attention instead of correcting it she illegally covered it up , got another job and left. Everyone, wondered why she left, she was a shoo in for the Executor’s position and had 12 years working there. Well I know why she really left and it was because of her “long” commute as she told everyone) I had developed quite a following with the customers and they really loved the way I treated them and the quality of my work. I spent 5 years being harassed by this creature and her posse. Unfair write ups and one 3 day suspension, complaints about my squeaky shoes, anything I did bothered them. I did not know it then but I was being mobbed. I thought that after my bully was fired for insubordination that I would get some relief but the mobbing did not stop. The head of the snake was cut off but another one grew in it’s place. Her second in command took over, (another sociopath, she even had the starry eyes, they both did anyways that is for another blog.) My 2nd supervisor, who prided herself on firing people she deemed undesirable. Started laying the groundwork for firing me, giving me low ratings, undermining me, reducing my tasks. Textbook mobbing behaviors. I stayed there trying to tough it out, hoping for change, for a miracle. I did not want to leave my customers at their mercy, who would help them, look after their best interest. I am not a quitter so I stayed for 7 long hard years .after 5 years I filed one workers comp, which I was forced to do the doctor refused to treat me. He referred me to workers comp because I had proof that they were out to get me. ( My 1st supervisor had given me a write up and wrote for information only this is not a write up and gave me a copy, but she placed a different copy with that omitted and more added in my personnel file) When I received another write up they attached that 4 year old write up to substantiate another trumped up write up with a 3 day suspension without pay. I finally left, due to stress I became disabled and unable to return to work. I have since recovered and I am looking for work, but now I signed a release and my potential employer is probably going to request my records from my old employer. So I probably won’t get the job.I now have a blemish on my professional career and on my psyche. Moral of this story: When faced with a bully and you are being mobbed at work. LEAVE, it’s not quitting it is Surviving.
Just recently I was bullied on the job by a person who daily remind me that she had been their 17+ years at the company. I was shunned and cut out of the circle by sending me out to do demeaning jobs while she sat criticizing every move I made. The needed information for my training was refused to me and again was reminded that they had been there um-teen years and I was not stepping on their territory on the job.
Twilight zone is where I thought I was working in this un-real situation that was my nightmare every night to endure. No longer will I let myself be a victim to this kind of behavior. No one should have to tolerate this kind of treatment at any age. My education was brought up on various times and they would constantly down spiral my credentials and continued education.
I hope as long as I live I never lower myself to treat another human being like this under any circumstances.
Judy’s story is interesting. I believe I work in a similar culture with some variations.
Strange how a success brings out the worst in people who are focused on themselves rather than the goal.
In my case the bullying got worse, ironically, when I had a major success at work. I work in media relations and I was brought in to create a new department. My new boss, the founder of the organization, had appeared charming and kind at the interview but the second day of my job I realized that had only been a facade when she flew off the handle because we got a call from a reporter at the New York Times who wanted to interview her. Other organizations would have jumped at the opportunity. I realized she is really nervous about media interviews so I have been working with her to train her extensively, and she has improved. But in return all she does is nitpick at me, insult me whenever I have a success, and make me worry day and night for my job. This week one of our media campaigns went viral and she retaliated by sending me an email telling me I didn’t know what I was doing. I feel sad, angry and confused all the time– I am doing a great job and I am being punished for it. I wish I could leave but after just three months on this job I am afraid that I will look like a job-hopper, and I cannot afford to quit.
My three decade career was destroyed by intense bullying that started, and continued, for the last eight years. I never knew who or why because the message was delivered very cruelly in my evaluations by a supervisor I did not know and had no communication otherwise. She did not even know how to pronounce my name. It began when I was asked to do work that was way beyond the complexity of others in my same position by a high end employee, and I succeeded. I had no control over what I was asked to do, and received no credit or rewards – instead I was verbally attacked, demeaned and humiliated against increased work volume and impossible expectations. When I expressed my concerns to HR, I was forced to be tested for “psychotic tendencies,” and although there were none and the psychologist was supportive, I was labeled crazy. At the same time, I continuously focused on increasingly difficult and complex work on a daily basis to the point I was unable to even eat and sleep regularly. When the expectations and bullying became too intense and my health started to suffer, I responded. That is when my career and ability to financially survive, in addition to help my children as a single mother, was destroyed. My belief is that it generally became a dysfunctional organization with management that ran like a high school, but given all I ever received was you did this to “someone,” “someone” said this or that, or “you think this,” and I had no idea where this was coming from, I will never know truly the cause. Therefore, there will never be closure.
I WORK WITH A MAN THAT IS A BULLY HE GOT IN MY FACE I AM A FEMALE I HELD OUT MY HAND STEPPED BACK TOLD HIM TO STOP HE STRUCK ME 3 TIMES IN MY ARM WITH HIS FIST . I RAN TO MANAGER THEY SENT ME TO HR NEXT DAY SAID IT WAS MY WORD VERSES HIS NO ONE SAW THE HIT SO THEY DID NOTHING TO HIM . SO WOW YOU CAN HIT SOMEONE AT WORK AND NOTHING HAPPENS TO THAT PERSON MY ARM HURTS BAD TO GRIP ANYTHING I NEED MY JOB I DONT WANT TO MAKE WAVES THEY SAY THERE IS A NO BULLING POLICY AT JOB I AM ONE OF THE TOP SALES PEOPLE THERE NOW HE WALKE AROUND GIVING ME IM GOING TO GET YOU LOOKS
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I, too, am experiencing a bully/mobbing situation in a public school where I am a counselor. I am fighting two blinding problems with my eyes and am on immunosuppressant therapy. I have been screamed at, smacked, labeled, excluded. You name it. I will have to leave this environment. I have received the worst treatment in my view (other colleagues may differ). It is hard for me to heal physically b/c of the daily stress from working with and for incompetent bullies.
I wish they had this in the USA. All we have is the eeoc and from what I hear they do NOTHIING. I was a victim of woraplkce bullying. My boss would consistently be mean to me by either making fun of my almost daily music blog i want it to be a paying entity like what perez hilton does and he laughed in my face about my idea (yet somehow i have more fans and fb followers than he does!), be harsh with me, criticized my appearance (hair, weight, and clothes), and call me in so many words or les
I get bulled ALL the time so make it stop.
I posted this in the comments of Bloombergs story on why [Redacted] can not fill the shelves.
OMG WTF! This is what I have been telling my bosses three years ago. I worked for [Redacted] for thirteen long years and had to quit in Nov. 2012. I was an Assistant Manager of a Neighborhood Market in Louisville for 7 years. My boss refussed to hold the ovenight Assistant Manager accountable for his associates attendance. All had problems over ten unexcussed call ins, one had thirty. Productivity was terrrible too nothing was getting done. Frieght would come in thirds would push it around, bin things that would go on shelf and fill up trailers for nothing. IMS had to count everything that thirds binned and could not count pallets in the freezer, coolers and trailers properly. Everything I worked hard teaching paople the importance of proper instock was destroyed. The store manager goes on vacation and I come back from my three days off in a row and the Market Manager B* [Name Changed] comes in a reams me a new one on the store sales floor. No Respect for the Individual I asked to talk with her in the office and she said no. Open door policy was slammed shut in my face. Insult to injury the third shift manager was told B* was in and started talking to her, she listened to everything he had to say.I transffered to [Redacted] a terrible armpit of a [Redacted] and the situatution was the same times 100. They were hiring outside companies instead of holding people accountable, firing the call in people and rehiring to stock the shelves. The wharehouse had thousands of pallets on the floor not ran that could go on the shelf. The bins had outdate product that never had a chance for the customer to purchase it. There was probabaly over $250,000 worth of outdated product. The temp agency workers broke 6 fire doors to steal merchandise and some where doing it out the front door. No drug tests no training no criminal back ground tests. The [Redacted] worker in toys could be a murderer or child molester for all I know. A friend of mine was hurt when she tried to stop one from stealing a duffle bag full of cigarrettes. All this and two store managers, two market managers, four zone managers, a half dozen assistants and a Market Human resource Manager solution to the whole problem was——— “D* shut up and stock all the frieght for thirds, we are holding you accountable and no one else”. How would you like to do to work every day and get told you did not stock enough frieght , bullied into working myself to death. Instead of holding the store manager accountable to the condition of the store you hold only one person in two stores accountable ME. I could not use the [Redacted] policies to defend myself and noone listened to me so I was forced to quit. It all has to do with forcing 7 year and over associate that are full time to quit so that they can hire 2 to 4 Part time people in thier place. Does no one remember S*’s memo from the corporate office, look it up. I worked three days on three days off, never seeing or working with the other assistant manager. This is all planned to keep associates off guard not to help the managers. You as an associate deal with two people as your bosses on you may like the other you hate. Do you expect them to do what you tell them to when you are off or does the other assistant make them do other things then what you assigned. Walmart is evil and everyone keeps letting them be evil and get away with it.
Right now I have been unemployed for a year and three months, I was denied unemployment because I quit instead of being fired. I had a company I interview call [REdacted] for a refference and that company told me they would not hire me becuase of what [Redacted] said about me. What I am supposed to do? How do I move on with my life? Do I even have a life? Next month we lose our house and have to move on. The biggest problem my wife still works for [Redacted] and has to tell me about her horrible day every day. She has a store that has the same problems the two I worked at. The Market Managers need fired the Store Managers need fired and I am powerless to do anything about it. Help me please, someone, anyone? Please!
Seen your website. Read some of the posts. Live in Montana. Work for the worst bulying boss imaginable. Wondering if there is any legal action that can be taken.
I have been experiencing bullying at work for about a year. I work in the OR at a major hospital in michigan and my nurse coordinator and her posse’ have bullied me, talked behind my back, lied to others about me, made things up about my performance and so on and so forth. I went to HR once already and was assure I would be protected…ha thats a joke. Here I am now defending myself again. I will most likely be forced out of my position just because I cant take it any more! My gutts churn and my stomach is always in knots waiting for the next attack…no job is worth this kind of life. Its not fair but what can we do???
The RCMP said they could not help…
It has been over a year of hell for me and my wife. Two co-workers at the time maliciously lied about an incident in order to make room for a relative, that he would take my position. For the first half of the year I was afraid the police would come for me. Then after collecting information to prove that they lied (including an email from one of them confirming my suspicions), I talked to the police. The officer said no law was broken and this was not the first time it has happened. I don’t know where to turn, we will probably go bankrupt over this very soon. The ironic thing is the one individual who is still working there phoned me up asking if I wanted my old job back, bragging how he was taking business away from my new employer. The next week I found out he was still spreading the lie around, one of his co-workers was quitting and spilled the beans.
I thought of those two a friends and they knew I just moved closer to work and had a young family. I wish they knew how hard it was trying to find a way to put a jug of milk on the table, what could we sell next to buy next weeks groceries.
I went above and beyond for my employer and was grateful for those two to help release the workload that I gained for the company.
I’m sorry hard to talk about this and I’m just having a feel sorry for myself moment.
JODIE’S LAW: watch the testimony of a woman and her family as she struggles with the loss of her job. Scroll down for more reader submitted stories!
I was at a job for 7 years. The problem was not with my boss but a co worker. At first she was very nice and professional and left me alone to do my job. I am not “tooting my own horn” but I was very good at my job and it was apparent how much I enjoyed the nature of my job. After about a few months, she was still “nice” but was contantly correcting me on RIDICULOUS CHILDISH things like saying “ya instead of yes” and “eating with my fingers at lunch instead of a fork”. I called her on it and she apologized. A month later it was happening again and worse. Even commenting on how I dress such as “those look like jeans and it’s not Friday” and ” face this way when you sit” and heaven for bid I was drinking a coffee at work and like a three year old she had to tell me not to because it was unprofessional, basically RIDICULOUS stuff again. Now she was getting ruder and giving me the silent treatment and often butting in when I talked to clients and other staff members making me look like an idiot and someone who didn’t know what they were taking about. Funny I was friends with everyone at work until about 4 months into the job when all of a sudden another co worker harrassed me in the same way and others began giving me the silent treatment. I told the boss and she was sympathetic and told me it would stop. It didn’t. I went back 3 months later and each time I went back, “I just had to learn to work with others becuase it’s kind of like a marriage and dealing with in laws you don’t like, as you just have to co-exist”. The bully co worker also did other things like ran- sacking the workplace like leaving office supplies and food scattered and blaming it on me and getting everyone after me for that. She even did other devious things like changing hours on my time sheet, that could never be proven. Even started horrible awful rumours causing co workers and clients to lose respect for me. I guess I stayed becuase I was on good terms with the boss. I needed the money and was going to school for a related study and needed a good reference. Funny how whenever a new employee or college intern would start at this place of employment, they liked me at first but would very soon start treating me badly because of “you know who”. She was “sucky sweet” to others so other employees would naturally believe whatever she said.
JODIE’S LAW: a family links a young mother’s suicide to her job. Scroll down for more reader submitted stories!
I’m writing this in the hope that people who have suffered similar issues know that they are not alone. I work for a small distribution company (pharmaceutical), from day 1 (joined in 2007) this company practices cronyism. Every employee, manager etc is either a relative or friend of one another. My problem is I’m not a butt kisser/apple polisher; my boss on the other hand has used every trick in the book to level up herself in every company she’s worked in. Particularly Ms S her client has done some major favours for my boss to get her promotion. Earlier this year, Ms S and her partner Mr F without permission took several company letterheads, the Corporate Comm Mgr demanded my explanation on this matter as the letterheads were under my control besides why would a client need our letterheads? My mistake – I TOLD THE TRUTH and from then on Ms S had it in for me. I also discovered an overpayment on our side that Ms S refused to refund. Suffice to say I refused to keep quiet. My boss got mad and the situation got bad to worse. Basically I have it from a reliable source that Ms S has demanded that my boss sack me. Co. cant sack me as I have been a diligent worker so much so that my boss did praise me for it in the past. To get me out of the co., my boss has used her authority to ‘ostracise” me. She is in charge of 3 departments and has instructed everybody in those departments to keep away from me. One of my colleagues, a lady in her 50s actually apologised to me saying ” I’m so sorry I cant be seen with you, I cant talk to you and if I see you, I’ve been told to avoid – not to ‘disturb you’. I really want to keep my job …, I hope you understand. ” In short, my BOSS has instructed the managers to cascade this new directive to all their staff. I personally overheard 1 dept head telling her staff, ‘dont entertain her if you want to get your bonus’. The entire HR dept lives in fear of my boss and my boss lives in fear of Ms S. Folks there is no justice, it does not pay to be honest! it does not pay to be conscientious. When I walk to my desk, people who were earlier talking, stop talking, run back to their seats, yes they run to their desks to avoid being seen with me. I cant help myself so I’m on the defensive now, I walk in head held high and avoid meeting anyone’s eyes. My boss has to walk pass my desk so she walks turning her head so she does not have to look at me. Yes this is actually happening, I’m not paranoid or schizophrenic. My mistake is not playing along with the game, the lies, the deception etc. Going to work is like to going to hell!!!
GLOBAL VOICES: Japanese academics struggle with “power abuse” too. Scroll down for more reader submitted stories!
This experience I had was after 25 years of working for the same bank, I had reported it to HR from the very beginning and had continued to tell them about what was happening. They kept giving me advice and finally after eleven months I told them they could take action, as I suspected, they said they spoke to everyone in the banking center, which was a lie and that no one could corroborate my story. I asked the HR person, does that mean you don’t believe me? He said, well, your boss has never had any reported complaints.
This put me into a deeper feeling of despair and feeling of helplessness and loss. I felt as though I was going to lose my job and my family was going to fall a financial whirlwind, and yes we did. I was fired on a technicality and was denied for unemployment. I had been pregnant unknowingly when I left loss the baby due to the stress after five months and had other various health complications, which had NEVER happened to me in my life.
My boss had ignored me blatantly when isaid good morning, walk by me and not respond, told lies about me to,other co-workers, cussed at me, physically pushed me on occasions because I didn’t have my name tag, had not included me in pertinent meetings, humiliated me in front of other employees, told me I was going to be fired at least thirty times every time she had opportunities to coach me or talk to me. She discriminated against me because I was the only one married and had small children, gave me unrealistic goals and expectations, told me I wasn’t a team player, I was selfish, I was only out for myself and that I did whatever I wanted, which couldn’t have been more from the truth. The hourly or daily dirty looks, glares and staredowns after eleven months took its toll when she told me she was writing me up and would every thirty days until she got rid of me.
It’s such a humiliating experience, I rarely tell it and cannot believe I invested my entire life in this company and have to leave on such an awful note and that my family had to take the brunt of it.
In April I lost my job with one of the top laboratories in Connecticut, one week after reporting my boss’ unprofessional and unstable behavior to her Director. I had already spoken to my boss about her behavior, hoping that a cogent, direct conversation would end the behavior without “ratting her out” (which I now wish I’d done, and will make sure to do in the future). I chose to go to my boss’ boss rather than HR because I’d hoped it would seem less threatening and would come across as an attempt to end bad behavior, not as an attempt to undermine my boss. The Director dismissed me in a way that was condescending, and immediately made me realize that she was not going to take me seriously. Only a few weeks before, a co-worker had gone to the VP of HR to report similar behavior, and his response to her report was “Well, I know that when J– has done this in the past, she’s always felt bad and apologized.” When she’s done this in the past??? How many times has she done this, and how many times has it obviously been reported and dismissed by you? A few weeks after this employee reported the behavior, another employee reported similar behavior to the Director that I spoke to, and was also dismissed. I was keeping a documentation log as I’d read about online, but they called me into HR with no prior notice and laid me off before I could show the document to anyone. I spoke to several lawyers who said they didn’t think I could prove that I’d been laid off for reporting my boss, so they wouldn’t take my case.
It disgusts me that workers, at least in my state of CT, have absolutely no recourse, no protection, no options, etc. to combat this kind of bullying.
My boss screamed and yelled at me in front of my employees, belittled her employees publicly on a constant basis, and even struck one of my co-workers…and no one cared! And their credo is “CARE”..Ha! I would do anything to help get a bullying law implemented in my state and anywhere else.
I work at a “place” of higher learning. If anyone has read “The Lucifer Effect”…I believe this is what is happening. We no longer have people who even entertain the thought of being ethical, insightful, or at the very least maybe retain just a little bit of humanity. I have been fortunate to be blessed to work in a church as a secretary, in the business world and now in academia. In each of these areas there is a common thread…greedy, arrogant, and completely devoted to themselves. Does that sound harsh? I like to think it of it as making myself very clear. I started working when I was 16 and a couple of months ago I reached my 60?s. I’ve worked in jobs where I was sexually harassed, peer bullied (12 people), an embezzler, an arrogant associate pastor who lost his compassion for his fellow man and now I am working with professors. I have to say, over the years the bullying has become ruthless. The group of academics I am dealing with now use the tricks of overload them with work, then scold them and shame them because it isn’t done. But the best stunt was, I had my performance review in January. He rated me on her “opinion” (her being one of his favorite students that he brought back and hired)…not job performance. I rebutted saying I don’t work for her. I havent work for her for 2 years. He said I know, she says she can’t work with you. My reply…”How does she know…she hasn’t tried!” His ridiculous reply: “She can tell!” Then they began to remove things from my office. I changed the locks. So somehow they were able to hack my computer…read my stuff…erase some things…plant other things. (Does this sound like a horrible nightmare. You bet.) Then they accused me of burglarly and had the police after me. The police took me downtown to be questioned and they searched my house…FOUND NOTHING. The real thief was caught, it was the night watchman. Did anyone apologize? What do you think?
I have attempted suicide 3 times…, but how many pills does a person have to take anyway! I took the whole bottle, and here I am. I’ve been hospitalized. When I went back to work, the professor actually seemed upset I survived. I have talked to local people for help, I have talked to the college HR for help, the college human rights, and went so high as to talk to my congressman…NOTHING, NOTHING has been done. Like that woman in the video when she said…”Does he look like a bully?” YES…he could. Very easily. People do not believe it is real. They think, well, no job is worth it. How come it’s the victims fault? So even after we are gone, we are still being kick around and oh, the poor bully. Give me a break. What is going on is just like that gal that could not get anyone to do anything about her police officer husband who was basically beating her to death.
It took her being observed by another police officer watching while he beat her until she almost died and he did nothing. Nor did the neighbors. People don’t understand how covert this is. I’m going to end with this…one of the profs involved in the bulling situation is a well known author of teaching students and teachers how to deal with “Bullying!” He has spoken all over the US and in Europe! Ironic, huh!
NOT ALL WOMEN’S ADVOCACY GROUPS SUPPORT ABUSED WOMEN DRIVERS – Scroll down for more reader submitted stories!
Wow I thought I was alone in this world of workplace bullying! I just got the screwing of a life time from my employer and the only thing that saved my job was an e-mail I sent to my boss about the bully. My boss never documented any of my complaints of harassment and bullying in my personal file. The other 3 “leaders”, and I use that term loosely, never documented my complaints either. So there was no hard copy of evidence for HR to go on. Now for the next 2 years any infraction for any reason and out the door I go. I call it parole. 2 long years of it! God help me that I make it!! I am considering contacting a lawyer for advice.
I too had to endure bullies in more than one workplace during my work history. My last place of work my co-worker bullied me and even threatened my life when SHE was caught not doing her job. This bully even called our manager and admitted she threatened me and so my manager was a witness now. My manager said that was uncalled for and considered that an unsafe work environment to me. It took two weeks for the owner to finally come to our branch office to even address this. What did he do well he didn’t fire her like my manager thought should have been done. No he rewarded her by rehiring her husband to work in the company again after he had quit a couple of months before saying to me it will calm her down to have him working with us again. Well she continued to bully,intimidate, lie and harass me continually for 8 more months. Finally the manager who was on my side said to the owner you need to get bully away from me . See I was a good employee and was one of the best in my position out of 18 stores and the manager sided with me she knew I always did my job never complained was on time rarely out sick. Now the bully she was out A LOT complained and did not always do what she was told to do. The manager knew she the bully was the employee that was the problem. See I had worked there for years before this bully was hired and had an excellent work record. So now the solution they moved her the bully to our other branch store across town where her husband worked and moved him in to work with me. See we only had offices that only have two employees in them my position office manager and her the bully and her husband the salesperson. Well the bully was not in the other office for two weeks and she started in on the other office girl right away. I had been dealing with that bully in my office for two years. Well the bully just continued to NOW go after this girl now in the other office. Unlike me this other girl would yell and scream back at the bully and the office was like a war zone. The bully due to this one day got so irritate the was irrational and called our Administrative office where the manager and boss(owner) worked out of. The manager told THE BULLY to go home for the rest of the day and cool off. The owner then tried ti call this bully for 3 days after that to get her side of the story and for those 3 days she also did not show up for work. Now the owner finally decided to fire her. His reason not for the way she acted no he got mad because she would not answer his call for those 3 days. Then the manager wanted to deny this bully unemployment for insubordination. The boss would not do that because this bully’s husband still worked for us and the boss was afraid he would quit. So this bully collected unemployment after all this for almost 2 years. How this finally ends well a year later the owner sells these stores to another owner and we are all excited thinking we will get better treatment since this boss still was not very nice to the girls in my position. Well the new owner comes in has us sign confidentiality agreements that we can not work in our field for a year if we lose our jobs there. First he lets the other girl go and then me. See the new boss had people lined up before he bought our stores to come in and after we sign those agreements we are out. Also the new boss and old boss could not stand each other and had both worked for our corporation for years since we are a franchise. Word is the new owner didn’t want to work with employee’s that had anything to do with this other owner. So I was bullied had my life threatened and eventually was let go and am being kept for a year from getting a job in my field of work for a year. All of this for being a good honest employee. These people had even done unethical things the bully her husband and even the owner. I had said nothing to the corporation or the State which would have had their licenses pulled from them for practicing. Even if I did then or know these people are know to send their legal team after people so what is one to do. All I can hope for is this anti bullying law will pas one day.
i was thretened hit from a bullie i reported the bullie threatened me abused me and said she would bring her husbund in to bash me up
Reply to Reginald: This doesn’t sound like a case of bullying it sounds like criminal harassment which is actionable. Contact an attorney and find out what steps to take. You may need to make a police report but you definitely need legal advice.
Judy’s story is interesting. I believe I work in a similar culture with some variations.
I have just read thru peoples comments and feel both shocked and comforted. I have just left a job where I was bullied by management and co-workers. Unreasonable expectations concerning workload were handed down from management, co-workers gossiped about my personal life, my work environment and work hours were changed to create unpleasantness, etc. etc. I could go on and on. Once I was asked to back-up a co-worker concerning another co-worker who was not working and texting friends and family non-stop. I did and couldn’t sleep that night because although the criticism was true the environment was no where near conducive to constructively resolving the problem. She was belittled by a manager who spends her day texting friends and family non-stop. A real role model.
I tried to justify the bullying behaviour by saying that the people were going thru difficult times in their own lives and therefore picking up they were falling short. I had to leave because I became really sick ang like another person developed an auto-immune disorder that is aggravated by stress.
I am a hard-working and competent worker. I didn’t realise that so much of the bullying was done by people in supervisory positions to others they percieve as more competent than themselves. I dumbed down a resume because this type of thing happened to me. I thought there was something wrong with me and really there was something really wrong with her and the company. I know this now.
I always thought that the mark of a good manager was to hire and keep people with skills that complemented or made up for the skills that were lacking within the group. I hate gossip as a form of social control. It is counterproductive, humiliating, self esteem and confidence destroying.
I will try to do a more thorough investigation of potential employers and trust my instincts concerning decent working environment. At the moment I am afraid to return to the workforce. Always optimistic at the onset….then tables turn for the worse…perhaps because I am fairly contientious and prefer to work quietly. Acting like a clown takes a considerable amount of effort however people seem to expect this type of behaviour. I have experienced some terrible working conditions with a variety of employers. I feel badly for everyone who lives thru this nightmare.
The recent announcement by Julia Gilliard of a nationwide review on workplace bullying was so well received, it was almost disturbing– it seems that the culture of harassment and stand over tactics within Australian places of employment is so engrained and accepted that the detractors of this government initiative were few, and their criticism at relatively low volume.
Quite recently, the story of Darrell Morris began to generate buzz within Australia’s social media circles, despite the apparent reluctance of mainstream media to become engaged in the hierarchical warfare of our public service departments.
By his supervisor’s own admissions, with the evidence collaborated by formal reports, Morris had been consistently “performing well” in his role with the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade. He’s worked in the Canberra–based department for the better part of a decade. A quiet but contentious man, he admits that this is the only job he has ever wanted to do, and he relocated his wife and very young family to the ACT on finishing university specifically to cater to this career.
A fairly typical Aussie guy, Darrell forfeited his weekend rugby games and essential time with his kids in order to advance his employment– putting in the extra effort that is an unspoken requirement of being a ’good employee’ in this country.
It was during late 2009 and early 2010, while on leave with out pay working for Liberal Senator Helen Coonan, that unfounded accusations of sharing classified information were leveled in Morris’s direction. While DFAT issued him with a ’letter of regret’ over the incident, the subversive harassment continued and union officials report that the tone in meetings and other forms communication become between Morris and his superiors became increasingly hostile.
It was last year, 2011, that Darrell Morris first took medical leave for severe depression. While ComCare, the relevant workers compensation providers, declared his workplace a significantly contributing factor to his illness, they have a ’no fault’ policy and no blame was laid, or compensation sought.
Morris’s return to work in late 2011 was plagued with accusations of poor conduct from senior staff members and inflexibility within his senior management in regards to providing a safe and secure work environment– every employers ethical duty of care to those in their employ.
Currently on his second round of medical leave for depression, the DFAT has instructed Morris that his claims of stigmatization are invalid and further claims will result in disciplinary action. On his return to work, he will be blocked from receiving any training or promotion within the Department for a period as yet undetermined– it could be as long as three years.
While stating that a blanket ban on individuals returning from medical leave is ’policy’, no formal evidence of such a policy existing has been presented, despite numerous requests.
On this story breaking in the social medias, the general reaction from readers was subtle disgust overladen with a cynical acceptance that this conduct is to be expected within Government departments and all layers of bureaucracy, not only within our country’s capital but in our state departments as well– those employed within our public sectors often work under a cloud of silence and passive aggression.
Transparency in workplace practices is always welcome, and Gilliard’s review of workplace bullying is timely, significant and valid. But it needs to focus its attention on sectors that are publicly known for using discrimination and stand over tactics– the Government’s own recruitment, advancement, internal complaint handling and ethical practice policies in particular.
Is that even possible, with the current culture of terrified silence that surrounds the topic; when people are too afraid to put name to their experiences for fear of covert retribution? When the best advice anyone within the public sector can give Darrell Morris is to change jobs, change departments, walk away and don’t make a fuss?
Results of the review, due out in October, may provide a clearer picture– But don’t go holding your breath. Given the current atmosphere, it may take more than one government review board to break the covert ranks of conspiratorial silence that surrounds this bizarrely underground, curiously Australian phenomenon.
I was bullied by two bully bosses in my last profession – both were aggressive Type A personalities, who were very good at spinning lies (truth with a twist). The Manager was female and the Director was male and had some kind of relationship, because I understood that he knew she made up stories and he once commented that she was a negative person. I observed that what makes a bully boss have subordinate managers that are also bullies is the fact that the incompetent boss appointed/promoted incompetent managers, so one ends up with a department that is not productive. All subordinates were aware of the managers’ incompetence and she surfed the internet minimally 50% of her working day. She was abusive to a young new employees, as well as myself. She would slam doors, evesdrop and spread gossip about everyone including her boss, the Director. She even mentioned to new employees that he hated hiring women.
Bullying at the workplace? Where do we go from here? Has anyone investigated or studied the workplace environment lately? Employees are enduring a tremendous amount of stress and bullying. I believe I now suffer from PTSD. I have worked for most of my life and never experienced workplace bullying like I have during the last four years. Individuals who are placed in the position of supervisor are becoming major bullies. Check out this workplace scenario: (It’s 9:15 am, I’m sitting at my desk reading emails. I have at least 20 emails from supervisor since last night. Each email requires a report or some detailed action. Before I begin my first project, Sup calls and demands that I report to her office and states that I am not an asset to the organization. In addition, calls out derogatory names, such as ignorant and stupid. I returned to my office to work on report. Five minutes later, sup calls and demand that I report to her office. There is an emergency elsewhere that had nothing to do with me, but now it does.
I am stressed, but I complete all tasks in a timely manner. The higher ups are singing my praises. Co-workers are wondering how did I get everything done. All of this seemed to enrage my supervisor even more. The next days I received only a few emails and even less calls from my supervisor. I am wondering who is she harassing today. At that moment, a co-workers entered my office and burst into tears stating she can’t take anymore of this harassment from supervisor) I just found out that another co-worker suffered a stroke because of the unjust and unusual punishment by the supervisor. I am concerned that if the job market doesn’t improve, there will be more incidents of fatalities. If there is anti-bullying laws in place at school and on the internet, wouldn’t it seem fair to do the same at the workplace. Somebody help!!
Last year I was transferred to a new program and something told me that it was a setup.
The new supervisor had obviously been prepped by the master bully and what would be done to me over a few months should be considered criminal and cruelty to a human being.
I had to leave work as already stated and became suicidal and agoraphobic .
I ended up receiving electroconvulsive treatment and the headaches were unbearable. I still have some short term memory loss and due to loss of income I almost even lost my housing.
I reported the abuse to everyone within the chain of command and the master behind it all for years was supported while I was being tortured .
Its disgusting that these people are protected and the victim is decompensating before everyone’s eyes and no one did a single thing to help.
I’m in the return to work stage after 8 months of being away. I’m more determined than ever to expose the master bully and those who helped.
What was done to me cannot be justified no matter how many meetings they have!
Litigation will soon begin and I’m hoping that license boards will look into the unprofessional and unethical practices.
I could be dead today and this is not acceptable to my loved one’s nor me.
In solidarity against cruelty to human beings in the workplace!
I am a professional in the mental health field which is even more disheartening because the bullies are protected and those who are targeted and have the courage to speak up are then retaliated against.
A social worker who left my job in September of 2011, on an unpaid leave of absence. A while back a patient threatened to cut my face and nothing was done to protect me. My targetting spans over a decade.
I have lived with depression and PTSD all my life. Prior to working for this company I never even took a pill. Thirteen year’s ago I began working for this company and at first thought that I was blessed until I would meet a bully with a mousy appearance who would target me and slander my work ethic, my character and my life.
Bullies are manipulative and often befriend weaklings to help them hurt another.
I went from no medications to four medications, one suicide attempt, weight fluctuations and eventually my first ever episode of incapacitation!
We have a new supervisor since last October 2011 and he is a power hungry person. He runs his team like an elementary grammar teacher/drill sergeant. We have an internal company’s website, where co-workers can share tips and stories with each other to help us with our customer service jobs. Anyway, this crazy man started to print out some of mine and my co-workers’ posts and giving us useless feedback like “You can’t use the word ‘Canadien” because it’s racial in tones” and “you can’t tell a story about a customer having a bad back and how we helped her out with carrying furnitures out of her house as a non-profit organization,” and “how we are all writing at a 8th grade level.” The past two weeks, no one (all 11 of us on his team) has posted anything on the internal website, a site mind you for internal employees to share tips, stories and to build rapport, this crazy man has taken it upon himself to use this website to trolls for posts to give us negative feedback. It’s pathetic. We all ignored him now, we try to avoid him as much as we can, no one likes this guy. Before I got on his team, I asked everyone how he was as a supervisor and everyone I asked said he was difficult to work with, power hungry, weird…It was unanimous. Most of us on the team are looking to transfer or get new jobs and get away from this crazy individual who thinks he’s playing pretend supervisor…..We are near the bottom of the company in terms of productivity….for obvious reasons….
My young sister has been bullied at every job she has been employed at, including her current one. I think in general female supervisor are more likely to bully female subordinate because there is none of the very possible physical confrontations that may occurs between a male supervisor and male subordinate. I’m a pretty strong man, I lift weight, I’m an athlete and most of my male supervisors leave me to do my job because there is that unspoken truth between males that if you push another man too far, you are going to get your behind beaten up, so that’s my take. I told my sister to just ignore her bully female supervisor, to be upbeat, positive, because being happy and living well is the best revenge…
For example, most of my male supervisors are good guys, except for one skinny gay male supervisor who is a type A-personality, he yelled at two females employees last month and made them cried, he yelled at me and I just smiled at him and say very calmly, “Yeah, you may have a point, I appreciate the feedback…” Then he walks away because he knows that I don’t react to his behavior, and also he knows that if I can slowly get another job with my qualifications and he knows subconsciously male to male that I can kick his little scrawny behind if I wanted to, but I don’t, I’m a gentleman…LOL…Unbelievably and luckily, I have never ever had any female supervisors…(crossing my fingers).
have given him a finger-shaking, but that’s all. Others in my department have left as well, and currently 5 more employees plan to leave this summer. I feel there is no recourse, and I want him to pay for my pain! EEOC claim??
I used to work for a bully boss [name deleted by moderator] and found that her boss [name deleted by moderator], the head of human resources, thought that the bully boss could do no wrong. It was a no win situation, I was stuck working in a sick work environment with two major bullies. [She] made up lies and terrorized me. [She] harmed staff and patients, and no one ever stopped her. [He] protected Kathleen no matter how terrible she was to others. I blame [her] for trying to ruin my life and she was responsible for patients getting intentionally burned. [He] was informed and yet refused to step in and stop her from harming people. Both of these people are still harming others with physical and mental abuse to this day and have gotten away with it with many employees. I have found out from talking with others in the community that this has been going on for twenty years!
I fully understand the pain of being bullied out of a job due to a sick, mean-spirited boss.She deserves to be stuck with herself for the rest of her life; thre is no better punishment. Even though [name deleted] tried to ruin my life, I have grown stronger in every area of my life. When her boss, [name deleted], refused to stop her from bullying me and allowed her to continue bullying me at the expense of myself, other employees, and numerous patients, in order to protect his bully for some inexplicable reason. The human resources people did absolutely nothing to help or intervene whatsoever. Even with meticulous documentation and witnesses to physical and mental harm [she] caused me, other staff, patients, and others, [he] never once called her on her behavior. In fact, [he] did his best to silence me by getting rid of me with false accusations: he accused me of stealing a camera when I never did that. The camera was in the cupboard the whole time and I have witnesses!
Thank you for this site! I have worked at my job for 12 years. My manager came here 6 years ago from another site, was demoted to supervisor when I stepped down (trying to get away from her), then promoted back to manager 3 years ago when the manager left. She is incompetent and has very poor time management skills. I am literally awesome at my job, and I truly believe she is jealous and intimidated by me. Right before she became manager 3 years ago, I was taken to lunch by our acting manager and told that “L” was not going anywhere and I had to get along with her or else. I honestly feel the director does not know I was threatened. She really likes me but I think she has a loyalty to both of those managers. Two years ago she hired a new supervisor who has saved my sanity, but the crap continues – only now I have someone to validate how I’ve been feeling. (as well as another supervisor in another department she manages.) My supervisor T tells me she’s ready to quit on any given day.
People all over my building know to call me for help because L doesn’t have a clue, though she likes to pretend she does. She had never actually done the work for our company so she is always spouting stuff which I then have to correct. Almost two years ago, I was written up for not defending the management team – I made the mistake of mentioning how I was doing my work, some of L’s work and some of T’s work, and someone overheard this and reported it to the director (yes, lesson learned, even if it’s the truth!) T and I get along well. We run the department working together but L constantly tries to micromanage!
We tried to fix some of the issues in the department but because L allows people to come sit for hours and complain, then believes what they say, it undermines what we do. We have several known liars (and embellishing is still lying) and now at least two have gone to her with lies about me. They skipped over T because they know she won’t listen to their BS. We had made a policy that if anyone complained they had to have a solution, or if it was directed at someone else, all parties needed to meet. T does this and it had cut down on it, but now they’ve turned on us both. Said I have been on Facebook instead of working and that I stand around for hours talking! I was more angry that L believed them without question than anything! WTH! And L made T tell me a month later. Of course I argued back and she didn’t have answers so I finally asked to meet with them tomorrow to get it all out. I am under no illusions as L talks out both sides of her face. She’ll try to placate me, I’m sure. Most likely because she pulled productivity and I ranked 2nd out of 19 employees, without including the 20%+ time I spend on my lead duties! Take that!! If I was wasting so much time, how could I get my work done? I’m sure she’ll have a “but” and I’m ready for her.
My husband cheated on me over two years ago and I found out at work. I went to L and explained what had happened and why I had been on the Sprint site at work which was how the calls ex was making were discovered. She was totally fine and actually appears to be a nice person and helped me thru. Well, A went and told lies about the whole thing to people in the department. A and L as we as several others have low self esteem – I see it and work around it, but I had told L I was going to talk to A and tell her she should not spread rumors, and L okayed it. A admitted she has a problem but still continues to do this. I wrote her off as a friend but still treat her in a respectful professional manner. A told T she wants her to make people be friends with A! T told her know so now she’s claiming we have a hostile environment she can’t work in. She also has only one “friend” left who also is a documented liar. I believe the two of them concocted the lies and L believed because she really is jealous of me.
A went to L after failing to get a job in another dept. L sent her to HR but said I am the common denominator thru those few complaints. Now I get what mobbing is! T wouldn’t listen to the crap – when she tells the complainer let’s all get together they back off saying they don’t like confrontation or to be retaliated against! Really? I could lose my job over that and I am a single mother! I would do nothing to jeopardize my job! HR told T that they wanted to talk to all individuals involved but I want them to talk to everyone. I don’t complain and neither do most people though there are many days we are fed up. Squeaky wheel gets the grease?!
Because of L’s mistrust she wanted me to move my hours back to first from a third/first swing shift. Like I am four years old and need monitored? I fought it up to the director and T backed me up (L was off most of December) – and we showed how it would negatively impact the department. The director said if it’s not broke don’t fix it so I am allowed to keep the hours for now. Funny thing, when we lost a third shift tech, no one else stepped up to help or even have a solution and I proposed this. It ends up working well for me, too. Amazing how two allegations that can easily be PROVEN – security tapes can be viewed to see if we’re standing around and history canbe pulled from my computer – are believed. What happened to backing up the management team? Does L get written up now? I have to speak with employees sometimes about confidential stuff so if people see me talking they need to mind their own business! I expect L to back me up on that but now I know she doesn’t trust me. Can’t wait to see how tomorrow goes!
The director doesn’t even want L as the manager but there’s nothing to do. I think I make more hourly than the manager (we had different pay scales when the company bought the one I worked for) so that pisses her off too I know no one is indispensable but my department will suffer greatly if I leave.
It helps to know that I’m not alone in suffering the pain of workplace bullying, but that doesn’t help with how to STOP it! I’ve been to Personnel many times! They’ve asked me, “Do you think he is bipolar?” “Do you think he’s having a nervous breakdown?” No, but I’m about to! I am being forced to retire early because I can no longer stand the physical and emotional pain. He has made it abundantly clear he doesn’t want me around and reminds me of it on a daily basis. My co-workers have reported how badly he treats me, but nothing changes. It’s not right.
I do hope that you will reach out to find help from counselors or lawyers for guidance so that you can understand better/what you are dealing with and how best to move forward. Warm thoughts your way…
DC – my bully boss was ex-military who abused his bullish power in a clever, and covert manner. He was very plausable and charming when i first met him, a wonderful disgise to all who first met him. Then i got to know him, and for the two-faced aggressive, evil fraudster that he was. He would shout at start, make them feel intimidated. He was very clever, most bullies are, yet got defensive when he felt under attack. I managed to save myself from the torture by telling him how his behaviour (on my last working day there) had affected me, and i did this in front of our finance director. Oh and by the way, for the record, be very careful of HR, especially where bully managers are concerned. HR are most interested in the organsation and not you the employee. I am now in a job where i am much happier, and even a wiff of bullying i stand up to and nip it in the bud! Bullying changes you, it changed me, and i must say everyone has noticed a difference in me. I know how to stand up for myself now, you must take personal control, and do not rely on anyone (like HR) for real support. I wish all of you who have been bullied, strength and dignity, and love and support from good friends and other people who have had this misforune of such a terrible expereince. I also believe that life presents itself with these challanges to make us stronger and mentally healthier. Bullies will never get away it, trust me, life has it’s own way of getting back at nasty, ugly people
The EXTREME Bully boss is a nightmare and a disgrace to all humanity. They are truly mentally disturbed, period. My daughter just recently got fired from a large pharmaceutical packing plant after 4 1/2 years. She and I were Co-Whistle Blowers to OSHA, based on TONS of workplace violations, and never admitting to the 150+ employees that they were handling HAZARDOUS DRUGS! The only “came clean” after we filed our OSHA complaint. Even then, it was a very quiet admission, at the back of a dull, routine Memorandum signed by the VA director (YES, VA DIRECTOR!) The only information about the hazardous drugs in the workplace came from a blog I started
[blog does not exist anymore] just before Thanksgiving. Visit our blog to get some sad stories of the employees there.
Since then, we’ve had over 5,500 page views and alot of new stories coming out every day about the intimidation in the office. It is SICKENING to see how management, corporate and local, just look the other way.
DEC 7 2010 I SERIOUSLY TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDE AFTER 5 MONTHS OF EMOTIONAL BULLYING BY RADIOLOGY TECHS, ONE NURSE AND EVENTIALLY THE DIRECTOR, ASST DIRECTOR, NURSING SUPERVISOR, HUMAN RESOURCES DEPARTMENT (THE MANAGERIAL BULLYING WAS DIRECTLY RELATED TO POOR MANAGEMENT AND THERE NEED TO COVER IT UP. HR IS NOT YOUR FRIEND OR ADVOCATE THEY ARE THERE TO COVER UP AND VICTIMIZE YOU AGAIN. I WAS EMOTIONALLY ABUSED. YOU CANNOT BE A PATIENT ADVOCATE OR YOU WILL PAY MY PRICE. YOU WILL BE SHUT OUT, STARED AT AND NOT SPOKEN TO. IF YOU ARE SPOKEN TO IT WILL BE IN A NASTY HATEFUL VOICE. UNFORTUNELY, IN MY CASE IT WAS 3 PRIMARY PEOPLE AND I WAS THE THE FOURTH IN AN INCLOSED LEAD LINED AREA. I COULD NOT COME UP AGAINST ONE WITHOUT ALL 3 AND NEEDLESS TO SAY BENDING THE TRUTH WAS THE LEAST OF IT. SABATOGE OF PATIENT CARE.
HUMILIATED IN FRONT OF PATIENTS. HIPPA VIOLATIONS ANDM
I was deeply moved by your post and trust that over the past year you have been able to find strong support from individual counselors etc to help you through this type of emotional toll.
Horizontal violence is so devastating. I was severely bullied, harassed, and targeted for over a year by my superiors.
I reported serious issues of fraud and client abuse to state oversight agencies, and when this was discovered by management, my life was made a living hell. The oversight agencies did not fully investigate, even though vulnerable citizens were neglected, abused, and died, and there were multiple witnesses and documentation to corroborate my claims.
My superiors systematically lied about me to my co-workers, and then solicited letters from these workers describing what a terrible person I was. I felt so betrayed. Many of these co-workers who wrote libelous letters had no problem with my acting as their advocate to secure salary upgrades, and while I was sticking my neck out for them, they were stabbing me in the back.
I sought legal recourse as my exemplary 30 year career was destroyed, and I was placed on administrative leave for bogus charges. My nightmare only grew worse as I was denied witnesses at hearings, and never allowed to present my case. I hired unethical attorneys who took thousands of dollars from me, and then sold me out. I was terminated by a department head who lied extensively when she testified against me, and who participated in fraud, medical record tampering, and gross misconduct.
My last hope for justice was a federal civil rights claim. The judge sat on the case for four years. Witnesses never were deposed, and when I filed a grievance against my attorney due to his misconduct, the judge (whom my attorney claimed was a friend) was verbally abusive towards me. I never could have imagined how immoral and corrupt our legal system is.
My only hope for justice is to expose the lies and extensive workplace bullying via the media. Maybe, maybe, these bullies will not be allowed to strike again.
I can relate to many of these comments; isecurity and jealousy; our bully likes like a Stepford Wife with a plastic face and everything perfect but she runs around behind everyone’s back and undermines and defames everything they do; always comments that the place would never run without her. Decided to really pick on me about 18 months ago; had a couple of good rounds; she was outright caught lying but pulled an Elizabeth Taylor” acting scene worth an academy award, in tears, actually claimed dimensia and got sent home til she felt better. I didn’t even get an apology, not even from the boss who I told him it was his job not mine to control her. The staff morale is horrendous and he asks about it but has his head so far up – – – – – – – you know whose behind; yeah the inappropriate relationship so that he has lot his management abilities and perspectives; so many indicidents; I go on holidays and another comes up and I come home to being fired without cause after 10 years and being #1 in my position. Anger, betrayment, abuse, bullying – all of it; I am taking them all to supreme court. And I am writing a book on all the feelings, the devasation it does; have a writing and teaching background – and then I am fighting for the laws to be changed and educating the world if it is the last thing I do. I don’t know if it is allowed but if anyone wants to share their story with me; I will be writing and then do a documentary…
It is so apparent that the bullies are always the incompetent people in the department, who are in a supervisory roll and have a relationship with the boss/HR. I especially feel for workplace warrior, because similar incidents happened to me before I was bullied out of my job by an incompetent supervisor and department heard. The supervisor would say and do things that were not proper and then blame me for it. She even said that the Department Head did not like women in his department and when confronted by another employee, she said “Judy said it”. This supervisor yelled in the face of other employees and myself, making lying accusations and was always out of control. She would take emails I have written and spin them in a different way to the Department Head. He seemed to listen to everything she said. This would lead me to believe he was as incompetent as her or they had a relationship. Both of these individuals slandered me to other employees and clients, who advised me that this was happening.
I was bullied/mobbed for 18 months by a new supervisor and her staff 1/2 of which had been my trainees for 2 years and unbeknownced to me where/are close friends of the supervisor. I was the lead in a highly technical position for a decade and I had worked in that program for 22 years. The new people including the supervisor had vertylittle to no knowledge or experience in the work at hand. They set out on a course to denegrate all 22 tears of work I had accomplished. Everthing I did was wrong, everything that I ever did was wrong. Staff with 7 months of experience were writing work standards and I was excluded ;when I took exception to the documents I was forced to work 9 hours overtime as punishment. I was excluded from Every meeting except staff meetings, wgere I was either ignored or yelled at. I was written up for every trumped up excuse they could think of. I was ostracised, humiliated, shunned! I was told to retire because I was old, that I could not change, (age discrmination) as I was the oldest woman in the office. My reputation was severly damaged, they planted horrid notes in my work area then “found” them and accused me of all sorts of bad acts. I was held responsible for mitakes that were not my responsibility, and the responsible parties were never disciplined. I had people yelling at me all the time, actually in my face. I told my HR dept, I told the chief, I told the director, I told the administrator. Nothing was done. After 21 years of exceptional evaluations I was downgraded to less and zero. I asked for a transfer and was willing to take a demotion to get away from the abuse. Instead she was allowed to trump up more charges and I was demoted then allowed to transfer.
For the last year and 1/2 they still have been slandering me. Now 1 1/2 years later she had 22 charges against her including extortion and all she had to do was say I will sue you for racial discrimination and nothing happened to her! Then 1/4 of her staff was tranfered into my new work area and the bullying is starting all over again! I am about 5 years from retirement and I am not sure I can tough it out!
never thought that what I endured as a child, I would also endure as an adult. Bullying in the workplace is so demoralizing and invalidating. I have been the victim of workplace violence for over 8 years for reporting behaviors that were unethical and hurtful. I am a female and the bully is also a female who is a little older than I am and has an administrative position. Not everyone was meant to be a supervisor but it does not matter because workplace violence is a culture that is promoted in CT and if one decides to set onself apart from that corrupt culture the person becomes the problem is targetted and the bully and her supportive team will stop at nothing to discredit, defame and humiliate their target by mobbing and threatening.
I have not worked in a couple of months. I had to take a break because I became so depressed and anxious that I just could not deal with the constant attacks. I became ill and you want to know what the sad part is?
I work for an agency that is funded by the government to provide services to the chronically mentally ill. I wish god would grant me one wish. I wish all the workplace bullies in the world could get a tatse of their own practices. These bullies are cowards who intentionally hurt others and what has been done to me is sickening but as I have read and heard others tell their stories it appears to be a major problem that we need to speak up about on a consistent basis.
findI have been told to my face while my boss laughed at me before taking a leave “I’m ok if you…
my supervisor is a contemptous person. I have never said anything nor did anything that would warrent termination. Yet I have been threatened with repeatedly. So finally I turned on her called her out spelled out how I was tired of her passing the buck and perhaps she should be a leader or at least read a book on the subject. I stood up for my family. Now she really does lack inteligence and her supervisor is a no good non-thinking bully which is an issue she is dealing with….
I was a victim of lateral violence in the workplace for the past 7 months before they decided to let me go. I worked for a major health insurance company & was subcontracted with another company. Some people from the subcontractor made up lies about me that were totally untrue, yet my so called leadership believed them & used it against me in a CAP (corrective action plan). I have been in health care for the past 35 years & never in my life have experienced anything like this! The company mentality is to just be a ‘good little Nazi’, in my opinion. My immediate supervisor was very condescending to me & treated me like I was a complete idiot, when in fact, I believe she was the idiot as she had no clue what the line of business she was managing was about. She always had to ask her ‘helpline’, before she could answer a question, which she could never do alone. I truly believe they wanted me out because I was well paid & they could replace me with someone who they can pay much less. I am considering a lawsuit but realize cases such as mine are difficult to prove.
Almost all jobs suck…it is better to have your own home based business!
I began a new director position in higher education over a year ago. Bullying from my direct reports and supervisor began within the first three months. Eventually, my staff “mobbed” me and were supported by my boss (an officer), and HRD. I came to the work with all good intentions, my whole heart, and committed to collaborative management (which has worked well for me in the past). I entered an extremely toxic environment. Even peers and faculty were reportedly encouraged by my boss to harass me and to embellish the truth, so that I appeared to always be in the wrong or harming a project or person. People told bold lies about me and my boss believed them. His response to me “you are new, I can’t trust you, I have to trust people with a work history here”. The whole higher ed scene is often toxic, but this went beyond the pale, I was constantly ill and on several occasions could hardly breathe, My secretary attacked me publicly, after privately assuring me she was on my side, Shortly after this she began to attack me privately and deny it when confronted. I was denied union representation by HRD officer and my supervisor in meetings with my staff members and their union reps. I told them they should be ashamed of themselves. One staff member (who retired sixmonths into my employment) repeatedly stared at my bosom when I spoke with her. A faculty member told me my breasts were too big and asked what kind of bra I wore. When I told her, she said I was doing the best I could. She told me I should lose weight and wear the uniform of black or gray suits. She told me ( I am a cancer survivor) to “do something a bout my hair” (it was only just growing back) and that male faculty made “ugly comments” about y breasts —b ut not who or what they said. This became a pattern at the institution, from my supervisor to HR, I was frequently told people “complained” about me for one unfounded reason or another, but was never given any details. My supervisor implied that I lied on my resume because I referred to subordinates as part of my team, rather than “subordinates.” (My philosophy has always been to work as a team, and I always talked about my staff “working with” rather than “for” me (which to me always sounded officious anyway.) In the interviews my team approach was praised, in practice, it was attacked. After working hard to deal with staff complacency, My secretary told me I did not deserve the job and she planned to get me fired. She was supported by management and HR. The management at this institution is a total joke. I later learned she has pulled crap on other people when she did not get her way. This institution would rather spend money protecting status quo than making any authentic progress/growth. The position and my supervisor’s management was all a sham, It is particularly hard because I loved the work itself and had a real affection for my team. Ultimately, the culture of isolated “silos” prevailed and my efforts at collaboration were trashed. Someday when I sort it out it will make a darned good article. Hanging on to confidence and self esteem, as well as my faith, in the midst of all this harassment and ultimate mobbing by subordinates and supervisor, was draining and impacted my energy, immune system, spiritual health and even worse, the stress just kept on and on, there was no way to recover from the stress — accusations would come at me out of left field several times a week and I never could understand it or figure out why/where /what happened. It felt sort of like the movie “Gaslight” (which no one at that place knew about which should tell you something – – they don’t even have a broad understanding of popular culture – they are really truly isolated and seem to like it that way) All I did on the weekends was sleep to try to recover from the week. Sunday nights I never slept. The result is they decided to non renew me, however an attorney says I have an excellent case for discrimination based on age, disability, sexual harassment (the problem of my breasts) – – but I don’t want to spend my time working on the negative. I want to be constructive and work towards a new position -someplace where my skills and collaborative, egalitarian management style and creative/critical thinking, non profit and for profit and fundraising successes, background and knowledge, will be useful and help an organization move forward. I also just LOVE to work. (which reportedly was also a problem) Keeping my head in the midst of this has taken lots of prayer and really challenged my faith practice. Keeping a St Michael prayer card handy and a rosary in my pocket helped. I had to pray almost constantly. It still hurts, but will be over soon. Then I will have to decide which way to go – “turn the other cheek” and move forward, and let go of the whole thing, or, alternatively, pursue legal avenues for justice. As a cancer survivor, I just feel life is too short to spend on “non-constructive” activities and to some degree, I believe being litigious can potentially generate bad karma. Cast your bread upon the waters and it will return to you” as the wisdom goes – – so I still want to do good things and help make an organization healthy and successful. I have a lot to contribute!! All of this probably started from people being fearful – and fighting people’s unfounded fears can really be a waste of time. I prefer to use my time well moving forward. In the future I will look closely at an organization and insist on interviewing my own team befre accepting a position.
The bottom line is (Learned from Many years experience at toxic workplaces).
1. If they are out to get you, and gang up on you, you don’t have a prayer.
2. Try to get out while you can….in this economy, that is usually impossible.
3. NO MATTER WHAT, DON”T QUIT…..They will make things BEYOND hellish, to make you quit, so they don’t have to pay Unemployment, but DON”T DO IT< TOUGH IT OUT!
Think of the money you’ll leave behind! Make them FIRE YOU! They probably will come up with a lame excuse like staff reduction….good, all the better. TOUGH IT OUT, you’ll be glad you listened to me!
I need to leave an update. I am going through workplace bullying at my new position, as a ICU nurse, and a local Veterans Hospital. Gossiping behind my back, clamping my piggyback medications, and unpluggng my tube feeding, totally ignoring my questions, and acusing me of doing taks wrong, when I am 100 percent sure, the task were done correctly. I have implemented a double check for myself to be sure the nursing tasks are being done correctly. Yet, my preceptor cleans up a MRSA patients stool,with her bare hands, and dumps MRSA sputum onto the floor from the patients T-piece. My bully is my preceptor, with 30 years experience at the same facility. When does the mistreatment ever stop?I asked to be put into a housekeeping position instead of an RN position, and was outright denied. I just want to do my job, and take care of my veterans.
I am a critical care nurse of tweleve years. Since 1999, I have been slapped, called derogatory names, tormented, controlled by my co-workers and my supervisors. I came home after being told I had breast cancer, which was a misdiagnosis. I needed, and wanted to be closer to my family. I was hired at [redacted], In Utica, New York as an open heart nurse. It was my dream come true, after working so hard to be a critical care nurse. My preceptor, kept putting her stomach up against my left leg, even after moving away, she continued to physically violate me. She would use fear tactics, about the cardiac surgeon, Dr. [redacted], and use the silent treatment,and not answer my questions, Which is extremely dangerous in an open heart critical care unit. I would not recieve help to turn or move my patients. She would tell family members lies about my skills.I was told by my co-workers at night, that my night time precptor had treated prior new employees very badly. Her manager knew, that I was being mstreated, and changed me to another preceptor, whom called me a F___ing Ho, after asking what unfractioned heparin meant. My night preceptor would not sign off my skills so, I could get off orientation, another controlling issue she used against me. I resigned immediately, and have been fighting with New York State to receive my unemployment benefits,for eight months now, still denied to this day. I contacted the Legal Aid society in Syracuse, and Utica, and was told they did not have the funding to help me.I unerwent a cardiac catherization from the stress of working with my night time preceptor, which turned out to be coronary artery spasms. I sat at the bottom of my dads’ driveway, and had to decide to pull out in front of a blue gasoline tanker, instead of going to work with my controlling, intimidating, physically abusive nigth time precpetor. I decide at that poitn, that no weasle, snake, or evil person is worth taking my own life. Recently; I was in a homeless shelter, until I could start my new job in Buffalo, a four hour drive from my family.
I have suffered psychologically, financially, physically, and am still struggling with fear, of going through the same work place bullying at my new job.
I am a Unted States Air Force Veteran/Paramedic/Registered Nurse.
I am truly sorry to the faimily of Jodie Zebell, and Kevin Morrisey, and the family members of the employees who took their lives, due to mean nasty, controlling jealous bosses, and co-workers.
We need to work together, to get the Healthy Workplace Bill passed in 21 states. Please write to your assembly person, senators, governor, and our president to get the Healthy Workpace Bill passed. Check out the Workplace Bullying Instittue.
Every story is similiar. it is sad that it seems to be getting to be more and more.
bullies should be made to pay something to the targets who loss their jobs, dignity, for damages they caused, etc etc, they should be punished big time……..I hate bullies, big or small…..did they do this in school when they were school age? were they born this way? if i recall, one of my bullies at work, was in face a miss know it all in school, not very pretty, but sure bullied others in school, and still doing that today……..man she even bullied her mother…….
I hate bullies
It is interesting how most of the stories have a common vein that the people bullied were very good in their work. Bullies will only pick on a strong employee with good work skills, because weaker employees have either succumbed to them already, and are coerced into doing the dirty work of the bullies to keep their jobs – thus mobbing occurs. A work team is only a good as the weakest link, and if the manager or the department head is the weakest link, then you should look for a better company for a career.
I worked as a System Implementor and Trainer and was bullied/harassed for almost 8 months before I was forced out of my job by a new female manager. I also experienced mobbing in the area I worked in. My demise started when the manager spread lies about me to the work team and department head. Both her and the department head discredited me to other employees, within the company, new department staff, as well as to clients before and after I was terminated. I was aware that both held a meeting with a junior staff member and tried to coerce her to admit to negative things that I supposedly said and done (events the manager made up). She was a confident young woman and didn’t buy into their tactics and she was picked on as well until she left. A client also advised me of the undermining going on behind my back.
Because the bullies were poor managers, I was blamed for everything that went wrong in the department for instance, an anti-bullying memo was put up in the coffee room while I was on holidays. The department head accused me of doing it, when I came back to the office (I was out of the province). For managers to have so much time to play these games and ignore the real work (ie. client wasn’t invoiced for almost 18 months and wouldn’t have been if I didn’t do it – the accountability for invoicing clients was a not done.
I was very good in my profession which involved a lot of travel and working independently with clients which was why the management could derail my efforts because no one really gets to know everyone very well. I received many thank you letters and small token gifts from other employees and clients for my support to them. It appears that bullies, whether they are a co-worker, manager or department head, are insecure individuals, most often incompetent in their role and then combine this with mental issues.
I have learned that you have to investigate potential employers just like they do job applicants. I know that the motivation for any company is profit as it should be but, when that profit disregards the health and well being of employees you are in a dangerous place. Companies stress that safety is first and when an accident happens it is always the victims fault, regardless of where or how it happened it is your fault. It’s the same with workplace bullying by complaining you draw attention to a major problem no one wants to address therefore the victim is left to fend for themselves. Bullying is a no win situation the victim loses money, health, respect, dignity, job, sanity and sometimes their lives and some people have the nerve to say we dont need another law.
I know of a nurse manager who was under so much covert aggression, due to workplace bullying, that she had a stroke in her mid 50s. At first, this nurse manager had lost weight and appeared to be doing well but the workplace bullying in the form of covert aggression proved too much for her. She gained all the weight back and suffered constant ailments until an early stroke disabled her. Indirect workplace bullying aka covert aggression has claimed yet another victim under the guise of natural causes.
Workplace bullying and covert aggression can take a physical, as well as mental, toll on people.
Medical Assistant, March 9, 2011
Lisa – sorry you went through that and everyone else on this website too. I was just forced out of a job I had held for 7 months. I am very pleasant and easy to get along with, extremely competent, hardworking etc. I never realized why I was bullied all the time but as you said bullies do not like these traits because we are everything they are not. They are threatened and generally they suffer from the narcissistic personality disorder. I encourage you and others to read up on this disorder if you haven’t already come across it. Also, if anyone is a Christian on this site, Jezebel spirit is another one to research. Do not blame yourselves, I have the habit of doing this, even though I know it is not me. There is nothing much we can do unfortunately because these people are master manipulators and they pull Person A, B, C etc. in and form a triangle of people and they are so good at convincing people. I do not have a mean bone in me and this doctor I worked for managed to convince everyone I was no good. She was nasty to me and treated everyone around her nicely. I cannot think of a single thing I did to her except be nice, even gave her candy with the files sometimes. Absolutely nothing worked. I finally talked to management about an issue which was truly over the top and management spoke to her and evidently she told her that I treated the patients bad and made all these mistakes. I am sick over this because I was an absolute gem on this job and treated everyone with respect, helped people etc. I do not want to sound like I am boasting or anything, I could only do this with Christ’s strength, otherwise I would be nothing. Any way,she convinced management and they let me go. I am now unemployed.
So hang in there everybody. We are better off out of these situations because it will only make a person miserable and sick. I believe we will be rewarded some day for our good works.
I am not going back to work on Monday, because I can no longer deal with being bullied and abused at work.
I have been employed with this company for a year and two months, and all that time I have been harassed, verbally and emotionally assaulted, and threatened with my job by my boss. The boss is actually married to the man who owns the company, which apparently gives this person the right to treat me like I’m less than old gum under a desk.
The Boss has rarely if ever had a kind word to say about my performance. I should have realized the trouble I was going to be in when I started on my first day working in shipping, taping up boxes for orders, and The Boss stood over my shoulder the whole time, complaining that I wasn’t taping the boxes up right. Then The Boss moved on to how I didn’t pick orders in a correct manner. When I was brought to a different section of the company to work with customers, the complaints ranged from talking too much with the customers, to typing to slowly when typing orders, to picking too many of one item to be shipped (even though all orders are checked before they are shipped out, to not leaving enough extra on the end of a fabric order (which recently became too much), to asking too many questions (and then being told that I was assuming that I knew everything). The list goes on and on.
I cried a lot. I knew I was a good person, and I knew I could be good at my job if I could only get The Boss to trust me just a little… but no. Never. No matter what I did or how well I did it, there was no “getting it right”. My job was held over my head almost every day for another reason, usually small trivial things, and if The Boss wasn’t threatening to fire me because I got something wrong, The Boss was threatening to fire me because I couldn’t be trusted to do anything. Oh, and the constant belittling in front of customers was the icing on the cake.
I started off with a pretty hefty job description, but then it was limited to just a handful of duties. Then The Boss complained that I wasn’t doing enough around the store and I had to “start doing your job as you were hired for it” or face being let go. Then, I made a mistake and my job was limited again, with the same reminder that “the last person who did this got fired.”
Today was the last straw. An innocent comment from a customer got me hauled in the office and threatened with termination again. The Boss even said “I’ve heard from various customers that you don’t like me, and if you don’t then you’re stupid to stay here.”
She then named the customers both of whom had actually gone to The Boss to complain of the treatment of myself as an employee based on what they’d seen. The Boss took that to mean that I had complained to them about how The Boss treated me, and wanted to use that and the conversation from earlier as a reason to fire me.
I took a deep breath, worked the rest of the day, and will NOT be returning on Monday morning. The Boss is bad for my mental health, and when I send in my resignation notice (effective immediately due to health issues), it will include the line:
“I don’t need to talk about you to anyone. Your track record speaks for itself.”
My daughter has been going through hell the past 13 months. She works with a clique of women who are doing everything they can to make her life as miserable as possible. She has been written up and is on the verge of being written up again. Unfortunately upper management has done nothing but make matters worse. The women accuse her of ignoring or not being sociable with the other ladies in the department. Yet they are the ones that whisper and gossip, ignore her, make false accusations that they then take to upper management without discussing with the department supervisor. She has been written up and told that if things do not change she will lose her position. She thought everything had blown over when she was called to the management office again and told that apparently her behavior had not changed and that the women were complaining again. When she said they were lying the response she got was “They said you would say that or that they have a conspiracy against you.” At this point she knew it was hopeless and left the room in tears. As her mother I am galled that this type of cruelty is allowed to go on. The ringleader of this clique is someone who has a very questionable personal life and yet is allowed to be the character barometer for my daughter. I get the sense from what she tells me that one or two ladies know its wrong but are perhaps afraid to speak up in fear of losing their jobs. This is a small town where people look out for themselves and eachother. We are outsiders. My daughter is now dealing with anxiety, depression, stomach issues etc. She has had to take off because it is so upsetting that she has severe stomach pains or wakes up with her eyes swollen from all the crying. She does not want to give them the satisfaction of quitting or seeing how upsetting it actually is for her. I agree with her and yet I feel that no job is worth all this suffering. That being said the thought of a group of women making life so miserable that their sole purpose is to break my daughter,force her to lose her means of supporting herself, lose her health benefits, galls me. Amazingly this is happening in a health care setting. Something needs to be done so that victims of this abuse can have a voice that will be heard. Noone deserves 8 hours of misery every day. Shame on the bullies. There should be a consequence for making an accusation without merit or they should be vigilantly observed as well. But to anyone who allows a coworker to go through this and not speak up is more shameful. I hope my daughter gets through this and for all of you in similar situations I wish you courage and strength as well!
So relieved to see this website!!
The same thing happened to me. I was bullied by my boss for about 8 months, but then others joined in and it became a workplace mobbing that I endured 6 more months before I finally quit. I was so upset when I got home everyday, and I usually google to do problem solving. I was blamed for something that another employee did, and the rest joined in on it. I googled “Salem Witch Trials” because that’s how I felt like they were treating me. I ran across the word “mobbing” so I googled it. That’s when I ran across “Workplace mobbing”. It was like reading about myself. Everything that I had gone through the past year, was all over the internet. I quit taking it personal, realizing it was insecure people’s way of office strategy. It was too late though, because I had already developed PTSD.
I kept a journal everyday, thought about trying to sue them. I decided maybe to compile it and write a book instead.
Four years ago, I was “all but dissertation” in clinical psychology, on my way to a PhD and a career in research. Then I was hired as a research assistant by a professor who, unbeknownst to me at the time, was a serial workplace bully. After having my first dissertation topic fall through due to an inability to find enough of the right subjects, I thought I was lucky to have my employer offer her set of data for me to use to complete a dissertation and my PhD degree.
I was not a target at the time; someone else was, and warned me about her. I didn’t believe them. After all, at the time, she treated me well.
Then the target was fired. And shortly thereafter, my boss began a campaign of harassment that included every type of humiliation and subterfuge you can imagine. In addition, I was also pressured to twist the truth in a scientific paper (which I refused to do).
I was stunned. I had never seen anything like this before. When my boss finally resorted to overt sabotage (as all my work passed through her hands, it was easy for her to remove essential documents and blame it on me), and I began to suffer Stress Disorder symptoms, I knew it was time to leave. Her reporting me to Human Resources on overtly trumped up and false charges was the final straw. When they took my report of what she’d done to me, but did nothing about it, I knew she was too important and well protected, and that no one would listen or really believe me. And I was right.
So I left-leaving my dissertation data and ultimately my PhD degree and career behind.
In the end, I was unable to find another job in my city in research, as the university I’d worked at was the only one that regularly hired research assistants in my area, and as soon as other professors there talked to her about me, I couldn’t get a second interview–and I owned a home and was (and am) married, and I couldn’t leave. So my career as a psychologist was dead–no access to research data, and blacklisted at the one university where I was able to work in my region.
Two jobs later (one as a copy editor, one as a secretary)–and, believe it or not, two more encounters with other bullies, who quickly targeted me and forced me out–I have lost my home to foreclosure, my husband and I have been forced to declare bankruptcy, and I’ve developed an autoimmune disorder.
I have learned that being targeted more than once is not uncommon. We targets seem to carry subtle “signs” that shout “Bully her!” or “Bully him!”
Indeed, there ought to be a law. I and my husband have lost everything. Our home is gone, my career is gone, we are bankrupt, and we live in my mother’s house (Thank God for her willingness to allow us that!). I have always been complimented on my ethics, my hardworking attitude, my competence, my pleasant personality, my agreeableness, and my likability. Now I find that all those things attract serial workplace bullies.
My only recourse now is to try to reinvent myself–at the age of 54, mind you–by using my skills in low-paying jobs to give us some type of steady income, while trying to start my own business, so that I’ll never be bullied again.
Three times is enough. There’s nothing left to take away from us, at least. It’s all gone.
But I’ll never stop mourning over my lost career. I loved research, and I loved being a psychologist-in-training. All my hopes, all the years of work on the degree, are all gone.
Oh, by the way–the bullying professor was promoted shortly after I was forced out.
I have being going through that situation in my job for 6 years, sometimes I have to take a pill to be able to work under that pressure. The only solution I have is to leave the job and my rent control apartment and move with my relatives,losing the job and medical insurance. To prepare for this decision got me depressed already. One feels helpless and angry at the same time.
#1 How is anything ever going to be done when no company, organization or names can be mentioned, due to a lawsuit. In time it could be found out who the worst culprits are and weed them out. We all need to band together and step up to the plate and fight this bulling. It is almost like alcoholism, cunning, baffling and powerful to the point where it destroys lives. Financially I am ruined and mentally I am torn due to many jobs where bulling and verbal sexual assault were the norm. Lets just say I am a health care worker, where bullying has been the norm for many years. This should not be taken lightly as those bullys also abuse thier patients, but they know how to manipulate and suck hole to the boss. The boss is a part of the process many of the times.
Year ago no one knew of such a thing as bullying in the workplace so one just shutup and putup with the crap. The circumstances have not changed a lot. I was called into the bosses quarters and told that some of the residents and co- workers had allegations that I was leaving residents in a state of neglect. I went straight to the shop steward at my workplace, as without a doubt I knew I had done no such thing. As soon as it was found out that I had done this my boss terminated me that very day only one hour later. I went to the union office in the town where I live and put in a grievence.Each time a meeting was called I had no representative to be there. They all worked in the same department as I did and for fear of losing thier jobs would not represent me. One of them even told me to zip it at all times and say nothing or I would loose my job. This was prior to my forced resignation. Following several meetings with the boss and her accomplices of whom did not even work in the same department, It was basically admitted by the boss that allegations did not exist. I looked her in the face addressed her by her name and asked her straight out WAS THERE EVER ANY ALLEGATIONS???? Her exact words in an exasperated tone were. Hmmmh! I went about this all in the wrong way. Co- workers later came to me and offered me reference for other work. As it turns out this Health Authority where I live covers a huge area and with no money due to lack of a fair living wage at other part time demeaning jobs, I am unable to just pick up my life and move. I have a close relationship with my children and grandchildren and do not feel that following years of prayer to have them all close to me, most of them have migrated to the area where I live.Why should I have to move. I came to this area for my work and I did nothing wrong! That was established. The agreements that myself,my union rep and myself came to were never adhered to from thier side and in fact they have done something to keep me from getting with in the health area. I have been the full circle more than once with the so called powers that be. If the half of what goes on with in these organizations were ever known, many of the chain of command would be out of work. I am financially ruined and mentally distraught. I should be compensated for the unnecessary indignation, financial ruin, emotional trauma etc. THERE OUTA BE A LAW!!!!!! and AN ORGANIZATION TO ENABLE the ordinary Joe to fight such BULLYING. Those involved in the bullying need to made to suffer the same hardships and down right misery they have put upon others with thier LIES, MANIPULATION, RECRUITING OF THE SHEEP ETC…..
I wish Connecticut had had SB60 when I worked there… I had a boss who was the most emotionally abusive person – screaming, belittling, bullying – imaginable.
It took me years to recover from that experience, and I had to go out on my own to do so; I couldn’t bear the thought of being subjected to that kind of treatment ever again.
I am in a small town where everyone in my field knows each other. Everyone knows that my boss lacks leadership skills, and they volunteer this to me without me even asking, when I tell them where I work. “But he is such a nice guy” that he will never be challenged. It is just my boss and me as staff, and its a non profit organization that is supposed to be doing good for the community. However my boss does not like to work and lacks leadership, vision , or concern about what the mission of our organization might actually stand for. In the morning when i walk up to the building i can see him playing Solitaire on his computer through the window. He takes off very early most days ( like at 2 or 3) , or takes extended lunches. Meanwhile I work through lunch and fill my 8 hours if not 9 every day. I have ideas that our board likes, and he agrees verbally but never supports my working on them, and will micromanage me if he sees me working on something “else” ie other projects. I never miss deadlines or fail to get all my work done. I have a major project right now I instigated– to simply work on and “prove myself.” even the mayor of our town has taken interest in this. But if i had listened to my boss, i would have kept my idea to myself, and no one would know about it, and he could go on playing solitare and arguing with his wife. The board also likes this project so now he is acting like he is a part of it even though I have done all research and planning so far.
He argues with his wife on the phone in front of me sometimes off and on all day, and has me do demeaning things like address an envelope for him and mail it even though he has nothing else to do . Then he will leave 2 hours early because his kid has a music lesson or something. He will also do stuff like introduce me to important people as his “assistant” and while it is true i am staff with a lower position ( and this is fine with me) , that title discredits the work i am doing and in the end it just makes the organization look bad because the assistant is working on something the boss should be!
Anonymous on April 15th i feel your pain. I hate going to work and after reading up on it today ( i called in sick) i can tell i have been depressed due to this treatment. I have been blaming myself for not being able to “handle” a professional job and just put up with the way he treats me, and all the politics in my town that enable the situation.
Others tell me to confront him, and so last week i told him all his personal calls in the office make my work environment stressful. He replied that it was stressful for HIM as well. I really don’t think he will ever change and I want to quit but it could be career suicide if i do. I have only been there for one year and I fear other orgs field will think I am flighty. I hate going to work so much, and it is damaging my home life as well because I am exhausted and want to watch tv and hide in my room all the time. Now I know this is depression. Everyone in my town knows he is not a leader and that my organization is stagnant. I thought I could come in and help make a positive change with good ideas and so on, but his personality is tearing me down very much. The ultimate irony is I do not feel dedicated to the actual work i do any more so my performance is slipping . And honestly I love my job if it werent for my boss. I dont know what to do because i feel it is an ethical situation where our org is supported by donors, foundations, and city $ ( taxpayer $ ) and his abuse of his position seems really wrong. what do i do?
It’s five years today, May 2, 2010, that Marlene took her life. As her trustee I am still waiting for the Department of Interior to release the full report of her suicide. As a volunteer for the Workplace Bullying Institute, I am still working for a law that would make workplace bullying illegal. As a friend, I am remembering that fateful day, when I knew something was not right, when the phone call came, when I learned she was dead. The following day I read her letter in which she told me her boss had made her life “utterly unbearable.” Thank you, Bev, for your tireless work to make sure they are no Marlene’s and Jodie’s, no more people who believe the only way out of the pain is death.
i am a retired rn from the federal government. i had aboss that i will call hitlers niece-she was mean, ignorant and sociopathic. she came from a large family and a rural setting and as i look back on her now-she was mentally ill. the federal government has alot of mentallly ill employees-it is an instituition in which they can continuie their illness-my federal facility became ill when the natives from my state took over-small town people with family problems and most of all drinking problems-50 and 60 years at happy hour weekly and cliques like mean girls-junior high emotionally and the fact they are responsible for veterans care is frightening-i would like to hear from other va retired nurses on this subject through your column and have their responses forwarded to me-thank you.i am writing a book on my experience-anyone else like to share?????
We are going through this at our workplace and the person doing the bullying is very good at hiding it from others. There are four of us who are the targets and we have been keeping records of this. We took it to our higher up in the company and they so called investigated it and basically put US on trial. We were told that is was us who were at fault and we needed to be more professional and put our customers first not worry about the aggressor. We were all to GET ALONG. The person that is doing it does not work for our company but is instead a worker of a person who leases a place in the establishment. In other words this person has no accountability and can basically get away with it. I just do not understand why this is allowed to go unpunished. We dread going to work and I have found that I was thinking of suicide but this video has changed my mind. People just do not understand how this tears a person down. The CONSTANT degrading and little things do add up. Lately it has been getting physical with things being kicked out in front of people trying to trip them as they walk by. One person was actually elbowed by this person. When this was brought up the investigators asked if that person was maybe being playful with them. Playful????? How can they even think that?? Maybe these investigators need to be in our shoes for a month to see what its really like to understand what its like. I will probably loss my job for this but I have had it. There are many other places I could get a better job without working with a pathetic bully like this person.
I cry everyday because I feel so trapped in my job. I live alone and support myself if I quit I will lose everything and a place to live so I need help. I work in a professional environment and my boss is an expert manipulator thoughts of quitting run through my head everyday. I am on anti-anxiety medication and my depression is getting worse all I wanna do is be in bed. What do I do? If I quit I will have no where to go. Is anyone out there in this situation? If you are and got out how did you do it. I can’t go back to school because I maxed out student loans. I can’t get a loan from the bank currently looking for another job but no luck.
I was bullied by my boss…she was mean and treated me like i was no one… i stud up to her one day and she fired me… now im unemployed for over a year ..i cant find work and im struggling with my four kids… there should be a law against this ..my children and i think so…..
I am just learning about the severe bully “boss” that I have. I reported a “bully” co-worker for overhearing comments she was sharing with other co-workers about myself. Said, “she should be fired, and I just can’t stand her!” (meaning me.) and that DID it. (this person had been abusive for 3 years;not just to me. I just couldn’t take any more at this point) I reported this to my new boss, ( of 1 year) and he in turn reported to HR. He said I wasn’t allowed to know the results but that I could be “assured” it would never happen again. It back fired and from that point on “he” has been on my case saying I am not doing as I should and “hearing” that my co-workers have to finish what I have started. ???? Questioning him about what he had been hearing and how do I go about fixing the issue? He could never say. My annual review comes, (3 months later), and he’s STILL telling me how bad I am doing but not giving any examples. This goes much deeper then I can write about in this little comment box, but I am feeling threatened for my job. I went to his boss and I went to “EEOC” and now I’m in the process of a “formal complaint” to my works’ HR. I understand fully about the sick stomach, no sleep, intimadation, peranoid, stress and the anticipation of the unknown. I am still in the middle of this mess and have not been “let go” from my position but my guts are saying he’s working up to it. He put me on a improvement plan for 3 months with HR, (I was forced to accept the PIP), and I’m ready right now for the pushout. I have been reseaching the internet to see what my recourse is; (if any) or will I hear: “Too bad; so sad.!” Like I was told by eeoc and an attorney I spoke with, “don’t go down without a fight!” I haven’t been able to say the “EXACT” words they need to hear. Like: I’m too old; I am white: It’s sexual attack; or whatever. But you know…..I am human and I don’t deserve this treatment…..Just seems wrong. I need more then that.
I am so sorry for the loss this family has suffered because of needless workplace bullying. When the family was describing how silly Jodie felt over documenting the hundreds of tiny little things, it rang 100% true to me. Today is my 8 month anniversary at my job and I feel like I’ve been there 800 years. Perhaps it will ease the family’s pain just a little to know how many people they’re helping by making this documentary. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I left my job and career of 26 yrs because of bullying. I will never understand why I and other targets were seen as the difficult ones when our boss exhibited all sorts of abusive behaviour. She yelled, poked fingers in faces,insulted people, demeaned and demoralized staff in private and public meetings, she told people they weren’t worth the money they were paid, breached confidentiality etcetcetc. I spent ages depressed and anxious in a mental health serving agency and never was offered any type of assistance. When I was provided intervention through a board member’s EAP program, the bully was told and my job was threatened unless I revealed WHY the intervention was needed and WHAT I was saying. I refused and the bullying ramped up because the bully had no control over what I was telling to an outsider. After 3 years of targeting, I left feeling defeated as I did not want to leave a job I loved but my own health depended on not being bullied any more. I would love to see anti bullying legislation as it would provide employees an option when internal complaints don’t work. It’s time bullying was identified for what it is: Abuse in the workplace..we have come along way in recognizing abuse in homes, schools and communities ( I know more needs to be done) but the workplace seems to be one of the few places left where abusive people can show their wares and be rewarded for it.
I have worked for this company for 6 years, the problem is the manager of my department, she has tried to get me fired or have me quit, and let me tell you im not going to quit. She has accused me of stealing from the company she has spread rummors about me and later denies them, she talks behind your back then gives you a friendly face to cover it all up. I have gone to HR and i even broke down in tears and cried my eyes out because i felt so alone and tired of being picked on, i got hurt doing my job and i notified our EMT, HR, my manager even the project manager new about it, and i never was sent to the doctor and this happened a couple of years ago and last year the project manager said that he was going to talk to HR so they can send me to the doctor and im still waiting. I think i did my job by contacting the proper personel about my injury and feel its there responsability to take care of the problem. My manager has prohibit me and one of my co-workers to work together when we do all the work and still do more for her. Every year we have an employee opinion survey and this year she had a very low score and she still wonders why. She has sent people to search my belongings without me being present. Some people have quit because they just got tired of her but i dont plan to because this has to stop NOW!!!. There´s so much more she has done but i realy need to sit down and talk with some one that is going to help me not just give me bull. This is a serious problem, this lady from what i heard, has been sued and has lost, and i still dont understand why she is still there. Hope a new law comes out to protect us, god bless us and help us beat this evil in the work place.
I worked for 15 years at the same small business… The shop was honed to just me, doing it all, and 1 very part time [worker] (who refused to deal with the boss and I protected!). I knew [my boss] had problems, especially since I worked in his home. I saw things I should never have been privy to…
I finally began therapy over a year before I left. I didn’t want to quit my job! I could take anything he could dish out. And his family and partner (not to mention clients) often turned to me to smooth things over for them. I was also aware that he had to go to court for domestic violence against his wife and was forced into anger management. I was also aware that a client actually had a restraining order against him! He lost clients because of his behavior and bad business practices. He was the most counterproductive employer I had ever met and it was his own money he was wasting! But I perservered because he never ever attacked me to the point where I was scared.
He made me nuts, I never got a good nights sleep, I developed a gastrointestinal disorder, but I went to therapy every week to prove to myself that “I was not the crazy one.” And I never put two and two together about my health. My therapist did but I just remained in denial. Because I made a good salary, had flexible hours and a commute under 30 minutes. Then the [economic] crisis hit and my husband retired at the ripe old age of 54. No worries, I made enough money to get us through until he got a new job. Then my brother-in-law was diagnosed with stage-4 cancer and came to live with us.
My husband became his primary caregiver and was no longer available for work. But it was still all good because I made good money and we could get by. Then my husband had to have surgery…and I was approved to take the day off…I got screamed at the moment I got to work for not coming in… No amount of conflict resolution skills worked. I tried everything I could think of to calm that man down. He just kept screaming, insulting me, pacing, spitting, calling me names, insulting my family, getting in my space (so close I could see his spit curdled in the corners of his mouth…His eyes actually glazed over! I felt like slave labor. So I picked up my purse and tried to leave. Wow. That was even crazier…
He trapped me at his front door and for the very first time I was really afraid of him… I did get out safely but hysterically…I talked about my next step with friends, family and my therapist. Because it was just me and the owner there was no higher authority to intervene. I agonized all night about leaving my job but it was clear that I had no other choice. No amount of money was worth my personal safety… I rationalized that he was not an evil person, just a sick person who needed help. But the man would not even admit to any wrong doing. He blamed me. If I would just not make him mad. If I would just be a good employee. Why was I making such a big thing out of it.”
I have been documenting workplace mobbing in my work place for the last 17 months. you see my boss needs to manipulate the employees and I am not easily manipulated. I am friendly and professional but I am no ones lapdog. Well she has picked up on that and she and her friends which constitute much of the workplace set about a plan to ostracize and isolate me completely. So it can not just be a boss, but all her friends as well. When my alarm goes off in the morning its like a punch in the gut that I have to go back to that office again and feel their collective disdain and hostility as I sit there totally alone. I have all the documentation a person could want, I had different (less) training, extreme hostility, songs sung about me my weight my appearance, and the whole room laughs. It could drive a person to end it all. But there is no legislation in new york yet to protect me.
I myself have been a victim of bullying and currently am still in a job with a corporate bully which believe it or not …is a old lady who has such high status that nobody talks back or disrespects her or questions her decisions. She writes me up and never gave me a raise nor acknowledges me as a good worker plus has humiliated me in front of other coworkers. What laws in Kansas are here can give me some legal muscle to get her back to reality and so I can enjoy working?
thank you so much for sending this to me – I’m late in finding it but it’s being posted on the facebook page. Are you just exploring bullying in the States? I am from the UK and have experienced bullying within the teaching profession. Unfortunately it appears to be rife and (as stated in the above comments) people are too afraid to stand up to it and those of us who are brave enough to put ourselves on the line are often condemned further for trying to show integrity and stand up for what is right.
Something is seriously wrong.
Please keep up your fantastic work, if you ever need a contact from across the pond…
56 yr old RN county gov worked in various settings, never had any problems in any of them, needed good health insurance,have a disabled son, daughter was also still on my insurance at the time.I had left a job I loved (home health private industry) where the health insurance coverage had declined medication coverage for my son who had grand mal seizures, since his Dad would not supply me with the RX card or cooperate with me (divorced) single parent since kids were 10 and 5. The pay was also terrible, no raises for 8 years! Years pass, I accept this new job as a school RN. The Nurse manager haggles over a dollar starting salary which is less than what I was already getting in my private industry job, but pretends that there might be a position open with insurance in the future. I take it, hoping and praying, keeping the job in home health on weekends. I work 2 jobs. Finally, I get the job in school health fulltime with insurance. It is a hellish experience, but I tolerate it. I find that some of the other RN’s were offered benefits and higher salaries than I, one of which came from the same employer that I came from! I even referred her myself! We have the same education and experience. Why? I ask. No answer.
Later. The Union asks too, why? It comes up as a question called the “wage compression review. Many RN’s are involved and meet together. The Nurse Manager is found out to have offered different salaries to some RN’s who she “liked” bettter than others. She now has to fix what she did. This is how she went about it.
She asked all the Managers that supervised the RN’s who would have been eligible for “back pay” of thousands of dollars to find fault of any kind in their work. Any detail at all. Whether real, contrived, or exaggerated, and document it in exaggerated form, then surprise the RN at the end of the year when she had her annual review with a below expectations review and a work improvement plan, so that she would be humiliated into leaving. Some RN’s including myself, would work harder to improve, not knowing this was the issue, thinking :there must be something I can do? Work harder, yes! I can’t lose my health insurance! So, I do, and I pass.
Another year goes by, another annual review, again, another raise is approved, but then, again, another written complaint, another below expectations, another new Supervisor, move me to a school further away…my father is sick and dying, I am below expectations when I can’t finish my work during my grieving period.
I go into deep depression. They allow me to come back, But they do not allow me to look at charts.It might be too stressful? “Sit here and just file the top pages”. Don’t get up from your seat without asking. Report to the main office when you are done.” You are still under a work improvement plan. when you complete this you must report to immunization clinic, you can train there, work for 3 months, find a new transfer position, if not, you will have to resign, There is no place for you here. The story goes on….
2 weeks after I resigned. I was hired by a private agency. The agency placed me ..in the same county government!!! in another department of course!! They LOVED me! I had to spend 11 months of my retirement money on cobra insurance waiting to be hired back.. at the same salary no less…just to get my health insurance back again. My son is in college. I am struggling financially. Te other RN makes $7 an hour more than me. She said “why didn’t you negotiate your wage?” I said “too late now”. She has way less credentials and education than I, but there is nothing I can say or do. The union did not help me then , and they won’t help me now. They are in this with the gov. The managers I”ve had so far. LOVE me, they use me like a dishrag.They know my history in the county.
These bosses are very common in government offices and the civil service, where it’s much harder to be fired. Same goes for public schools. I hope you examine those areas in future episodes.
I have 7 shifts left at a place where I was bullied. At one point, I was clinically depressed and another time, with 10 weeks left, I was asked if “I had a plan to kill myself”. That scared me that I was conveying that image of myself to others. It shook me into thinking no job is worth considering suicide over. The bullies are happy I am leaving. I gave a 6 week notice. With that said, 5 days after I had given my notice, one of the bullies took my picture off the wall that we have of all the employees. I had approached upper management with a plan of saving our department roughly $32,000/year. Naively, I opened a can of worms and thus, the bullying began. It has been an extremely painful experience but I can say I am taking my life and putting it back in my hands. I will never work in a situation like that again. Thank you for this video.
The best information i have found exactly here. Keep going Thank you
Help, my workplace is run by a clique of bulies. My new boss has a number of members of the department that he goes drinking with. Then he spends most of the day talking to them. Almost all of my work has been taken away and is being done by them. They are doing their best to destroy my reputation with my work group and demean me in meetings? Should I go to HR? [Note: This site is not meant for counseling and you should always seek out qualified specialists who can help you with your unique situation. Warm wishes to you as you move forward. – Bev]
Thank you so much for sharing this experience & working for legislation! I am watching this in tears because I am in a similar situation with my boss. Co-workers scurry away when she comes near & she seems to loom constantly. I feel isolated & alone. I start to have anxiety attacks on Saturday night because Monday I have to return to work. I am nauseous every morning driving in & have several moments everyday when I want to just run out the door. She yells, breaks pens, punches walls, points her finger in your face, jumps up & down, punches counter tops, throws things. And you don’t know when it’s coming. The littlest thing (or nothing) can set her off. I can do the same work now as I did 5 minutes ago (when it was correct) & it will set her off. Anyway, I am ranting, but please know that my prayers are with you in this fight!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
We need the “teeth” of a law to protect us from the devastation of bullying/mobbing. In my case, I thought I was in the ‘twilight zone’ because the better job I did, the more I was attacked. I couldn’t figure it out for years – until one day, not knowing what to do, I entered “emotional abuse in the workplace”into a search engine. My jaw dropped as all these sites came up. I read for hours and hours and finally understood that this is a real phenomenon, and it is not my fault!
While just learning about bullying helped to a certain extent, I also learned that once the bullies co-opt others into their game, there is pretty much nothing I can do to salvage my reputation. I’ve had most of my meaningful work removed by one of my 2 bullies. My co-workers had enjoyed my work prior to the bullies’ success in ‘demoting’ me, and are now not happy that I am working at the mediocrity the bullies desire. We, the taxpayers, are paying for this.
I’m glad you shared your experience. I’m sorry that your life was so affected by this treatment. I’m studying to become an Organizational Psychologist right now, and this is one area that I’m starting to become more interested in. Hopefully, people will start to be able to see the impact that tyrannical supervision and injustice can have on employees’ well-being and health. Once again, thanks for sharing.
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