March 4, 2012

[See DEAR MR. PRESIDENT: “HELP US! We’re being bullied out of our jobs…”] I, too, have had to endure 6 years of condescening comments, hateful remarks and bullying behavior. I have had it, though, and will be retiring after 30 years with a school district I love. I’ve been to management so many times, I can’t count them, and they
have given him a finger-shaking, but that’s all. Others in my department have left as well, and currently 5 more employees plan to leave this summer. I feel there is no recourse, and I want him to pay for my pain! EEOC claim??

 February 21, 2012

[See: Workplace Bullying Is Not a “Silient” Epidemic Anymore!]  Thanks so much for this website. I have a bully in my office in Japan who aggressively dominates the quiet work space by speaking in a loud, unnaturally high pitch voice. It is irritating and disruptive, because you can’t hear yourself think at your desk. I’ve seen her exposing herself to a male colleaugue in the office during office hours. Japan is known as a productive place to work, but this is counter culture gone wild. I’ve managed the situation by blankly refusing to return her fake smiles, getting up suddenly and leaving my desk the moment she starts speaking, ignoring her if she calls my name in a breathy come get me whorey way, and if she’s talking to management, I interrupt the conversation with a loud request to talk to one of the VPs about something work related. I’ve also recorded her empty loud conversations on tape and have loudly interjected with “not again!” or “come on, please” if she invades a space where I’m working and I’m not able to get away.

I used to work for a bully boss [name deleted by moderator] and found that her boss [name deleted by moderator], the head of human resources, thought that the bully boss could do no wrong. It was a no win situation, I was stuck working in a sick work environment with two major bullies. [She] made up lies and terrorized me. [She] harmed staff and patients, and no one ever stopped her. [He] protected Kathleen no matter how terrible she was to others. I blame [her] for trying to ruin my life and she was responsible for patients getting intentionally burned. [He] was informed and yet refused to step in and stop her from harming people. Both of these people are still harming others with physical and mental abuse to this day and have gotten away with it with many employees. I have found out from talking with others in the community that this has been going on for twenty years!

I fully understand the pain of being bullied out of a job due to a sick, mean-spirited boss.She deserves to be stuck with herself for the rest of her life; thre is no better punishment. Even though [name deleted] tried to ruin my life, I have grown stronger in every area of my life. When her boss, [name deleted], refused to stop her from bullying me and allowed her to continue bullying me at the expense of myself, other employees, and numerous patients, in order to protect his bully for some inexplicable reason. The human resources people did absolutely nothing to help or intervene whatsoever. Even with meticulous documentation and witnesses to physical and mental harm [she] caused me, other staff, patients, and others, [he] never once called her on her behavior. In fact, [he] did his best to silence me by getting rid of me with false accusations: he accused me of stealing a camera when I never did that. The camera was in the cupboard the whole time and I have witnesses!

Thank you for this site! I have worked at my job for 12 years. My manager came here 6 years ago from another site, was demoted to supervisor when I stepped down (trying to get away from her), then promoted back to manager 3 years ago when the manager left. She is incompetent and has very poor time management skills. I am literally awesome at my job, and I truly believe she is jealous and intimidated by me. Right before she became manager 3 years ago, I was taken to lunch by our acting manager and told that “L” was not going anywhere and I had to get along with her or else. I honestly feel the director does not know I was threatened. She really likes me but I think she has a loyalty to both of those managers. Two years ago she hired a new supervisor who has saved my sanity, but the crap continues – only now I have someone to validate how I’ve been feeling. (as well as another supervisor in another department she manages.) My supervisor T tells me she’s ready to quit on any given day.
People all over my building know to call me for help because L doesn’t have a clue, though she likes to pretend she does. She had never actually done the work for our company so she is always spouting stuff which I then have to correct. Almost two years ago, I was written up for not defending the management team – I made the mistake of mentioning how I was doing my work, some of L’s work and some of T’s work, and someone overheard this and reported it to the director (yes, lesson learned, even if it’s the truth!) T and I get along well. We run the department working together but L constantly tries to micromanage!
We tried to fix some of the issues in the department but because L allows people to come sit for hours and complain, then believes what they say, it undermines what we do. We have several known liars (and embellishing is still lying) and now at least two have gone to her with lies about me. They skipped over T because they know she won’t listen to their BS. We had made a policy that if anyone complained they had to have a solution, or if it was directed at someone else, all parties needed to meet. T does this and it had cut down on it, but now they’ve turned on us both. Said I have been on Facebook instead of working and that I stand around for hours talking! I was more angry that L believed them without question than anything! WTH! And L made T tell me a month later. Of course I argued back and she didn’t have answers so I finally asked to meet with them tomorrow to get it all out. I am under no illusions as L talks out both sides of her face. She’ll try to placate me, I’m sure. Most likely because she pulled productivity and I ranked 2nd out of 19 employees, without including the 20%+ time I spend on my lead duties! Take that!! If I was wasting so much time, how could I get my work done? I’m sure she’ll have a “but” and I’m ready for her.
My husband cheated on me over two years ago and I found out at work. I went to L and explained what had happened and why I had been on the Sprint site at work which was how the calls ex was making were discovered. She was totally fine and actually appears to be a nice person and helped me thru. Well, A went and told lies about the whole thing to people in the department. A and L as we as several others have low self esteem – I see it and work around it, but I had told L I was going to talk to A and tell her she should not spread rumors, and L okayed it. A admitted she has a problem but still continues to do this. I wrote her off as a friend but still treat her in a respectful professional manner. A told T she wants her to make people be friends with A! T told her know so now she’s claiming we have a hostile environment she can’t work in. She also has only one “friend” left who also is a documented liar. I believe the two of them concocted the lies and L believed because she really is jealous of me.
A went to L after failing to get a job in another dept. L sent her to HR but said I am the common denominator thru those few complaints. Now I get what mobbing is! T wouldn’t listen to the crap – when she tells the complainer let’s all get together they back off saying they don’t like confrontation or to be retaliated against! Really? I could lose my job over that and I am a single mother! I would do nothing to jeopardize my job! HR told T that they wanted to talk to all individuals involved but I want them to talk to everyone. I don’t complain and neither do most people though there are many days we are fed up. Squeaky wheel gets the grease?!
Because of L’s mistrust she wanted me to move my hours back to first from a third/first swing shift. Like I am four years old and need monitored? I fought it up to the director and T backed me up (L was off most of December) – and we showed how it would negatively impact the department. The director said if it’s not broke don’t fix it so I am allowed to keep the hours for now. Funny thing, when we lost a third shift tech, no one else stepped up to help or even have a solution and I proposed this. It ends up working well for me, too. Amazing how two allegations that can easily be PROVEN – security tapes can be viewed to see if we’re standing around and history canbe pulled from my computer – are believed. What happened to backing up the management team? Does L get written up now? I have to speak with employees sometimes about confidential stuff so if people see me talking they need to mind their own business! I expect L to back me up on that but now I know she doesn’t trust me. Can’t wait to see how tomorrow goes!
The director doesn’t even want L as the manager but there’s nothing to do. I think I make more hourly than the manager (we had different pay scales when the company bought the one I worked for) so that pisses her off too I know no one is indispensable but my department will suffer greatly if I leave.

Anonymous,  October 29, 2011

never thought that what I endured as a child, I would also endure as an adult. Bullying in the workplace is so demoralizing and invalidating. I have been the victim of workplace violence for over 8 years for reporting behaviors that were unethical and hurtful. I am a female and the bully is also a female who is a little older than I am and has an administrative position. Not everyone was meant to be a supervisor but it does not matter because workplace violence is a culture that is promoted in CT and if one decides to set onself apart from that corrupt culture the person becomes the problem is targetted and the bully and her supportive team will stop at nothing to discredit, defame and humiliate their target by mobbing and threatening.

I have not worked in a couple of months. I had to take a break because I became so depressed and anxious that I just could not deal with the constant attacks. I became ill and you want to know what the sad part is?

I work for an agency that is funded by the government to provide services to the chronically mentally ill. I wish god would grant me one wish. I wish all the workplace bullies in the world could get a tatse of their own practices. These bullies are cowards who intentionally hurt others and what has been done to me is sickening but as I have read and heard others tell their stories it appears to be a major problem that we need to speak up about on a consistent basis.

findI have been told to my face while my boss laughed at me before taking a leave “I’m ok if you…

Anonymous,  October 29, 2011

my supervisor is a contemptous person. I have never said anything nor did anything that would warrent termination. Yet I have been threatened with repeatedly. So finally I turned on her called her out spelled out how I was tired of her passing the buck and perhaps she should be a leader or at least read a book on the subject. I stood up for my family. Now she really does lack inteligence and her supervisor is a no good non-thinking bully which is an issue she is dealing with….

Sherry,  August 6, 2011

I was a victim of lateral violence in the workplace for the past 7 months before they decided to let me go. I worked for a major health insurance company & was subcontracted with another company. Some people from the subcontractor made up lies about me that were totally untrue, yet my so called leadership believed them & used it against me in a CAP (corrective action plan). I have been in health care for the past 35 years & never in my life have experienced anything like this! The company mentality is to just be a ‘good little Nazi’, in my opinion. My immediate supervisor was very condescending to me & treated me like I was a complete idiot, when in fact, I believe she was the idiot as she had no clue what the line of business she was managing was about. She always had to ask her ‘helpline’, before she could answer a question, which she could never do alone. I truly believe they wanted me out because I was well paid & they could replace me with someone who they can pay much less. I am considering a lawsuit but realize cases such as mine are difficult to prove.

Jennifer, July 4, 2011

Almost all jobs suck…it is better to have your own home based business! 

Gayle, July 4, 2011

I began a new director position in higher education over a year ago. Bullying from my direct reports and supervisor began within the first three months. Eventually, my staff “mobbed” me and were supported by my boss (an officer), and HRD. I came to the work with all good intentions, my whole heart, and committed to collaborative management (which has worked well for me in the past). I entered an extremely toxic environment. Even peers and faculty were reportedly encouraged by my boss to harass me and to embellish the truth, so that I appeared to always be in the wrong or harming a project or person. People told bold lies about me and my boss believed them. His response to me “you are new, I can’t trust you, I have to trust people with a work history here”. The whole higher ed scene is often toxic, but this went beyond the pale, I was constantly ill and on several occasions could hardly breathe, My secretary attacked me publicly, after privately assuring me she was on my side, Shortly after this she began to attack me privately and deny it when confronted. I was denied union representation by HRD officer and my supervisor in meetings with my staff members and their union reps. I told them they should be ashamed of themselves. One staff member (who retired sixmonths into my employment) repeatedly stared at my bosom when I spoke with her. A faculty member told me my breasts were too big and asked what kind of bra I wore. When I told her, she said I was doing the best I could. She told me I should lose weight and wear the uniform of black or gray suits. She told me ( I am a cancer survivor) to “do something a bout my hair” (it was only just growing back) and that male faculty made “ugly comments” about y breasts —b ut not who or what they said. This became a pattern at the institution, from my supervisor to HR, I was frequently told people “complained” about me for one unfounded reason or another, but was never given any details. My supervisor implied that I lied on my resume because I referred to subordinates as part of my team, rather than “subordinates.” (My philosophy has always been to work as a team, and I always talked about my staff “working with” rather than “for” me (which to me always sounded officious anyway.) In the interviews my team approach was praised, in practice, it was attacked. After working hard to deal with staff complacency, My secretary told me I did not deserve the job and she planned to get me fired. She was supported by management and HR. The management at this institution is a total joke. I later learned she has pulled crap on other people when she did not get her way. This institution would rather spend money protecting status quo than making any authentic progress/growth. The position and my supervisor’s management was all a sham, It is particularly hard because I loved the work itself and had a real affection for my team. Ultimately, the culture of isolated “silos” prevailed and my efforts at collaboration were trashed. Someday when I sort it out it will make a darned good article. Hanging on to confidence and self esteem, as well as my faith, in the midst of all this harassment and ultimate mobbing by subordinates and supervisor, was draining and impacted my energy, immune system, spiritual health and even worse, the stress just kept on and on, there was no way to recover from the stress — accusations would come at me out of left field several times a week and I never could understand it or figure out why/where /what happened. It felt sort of like the movie “Gaslight” (which no one at that place knew about which should tell you something – - they don’t even have a broad understanding of popular culture – they are really truly isolated and seem to like it that way) All I did on the weekends was sleep to try to recover from the week. Sunday nights I never slept. The result is they decided to non renew me, however an attorney says I have an excellent case for discrimination based on age, disability, sexual harassment (the problem of my breasts) – - but I don’t want to spend my time working on the negative. I want to be constructive and work towards a new position -someplace where my skills and collaborative, egalitarian management style and creative/critical thinking, non profit and for profit and fundraising successes, background and knowledge, will be useful and help an organization move forward. I also just LOVE to work. (which reportedly was also a problem) Keeping my head in the midst of this has taken lots of prayer and really challenged my faith practice. Keeping a St Michael prayer card handy and a rosary in my pocket helped. I had to pray almost constantly. It still hurts, but will be over soon. Then I will have to decide which way to go – “turn the other cheek” and move forward, and let go of the whole thing, or, alternatively, pursue legal avenues for justice. As a cancer survivor, I just feel life is too short to spend on “non-constructive” activities and to some degree, I believe being litigious can potentially generate bad karma. Cast your bread upon the waters and it will return to you” as the wisdom goes – - so I still want to do good things and help make an organization healthy and successful. I have a lot to contribute!! All of this probably started from people being fearful – and fighting people’s unfounded fears can really be a waste of time. I prefer to use my time well moving forward. In the future I will look closely at an organization and insist on interviewing my own team befre accepting a position.

“Been There,” July 3, 2011

The bottom line is (Learned from Many years experience at toxic workplaces).

1. If they are out to get you, and gang up on you, you don’t have a prayer.

2. Try to get out while you can….in this economy, that is usually impossible.

3. NO MATTER WHAT, DON”T QUIT…..They will make things BEYOND hellish, to make you quit, so they don’t have to pay Unemployment, but DON”T DO IT< TOUGH IT OUT!

Think of the money you’ll leave behind! Make them FIRE YOU! They probably will come up with a lame excuse like staff reduction….good, all the better. TOUGH IT OUT, you’ll be glad you listened to me!

Joyce, July 2, 2011

HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1) From the time I started, I asked her if 2 times a week should could come in before 9:15 so we could discuss business. She has refused. I am here at 7:40 everyday and thought that discussing business would be best done before hours rather than in between patients.

2) She arrives, and leaves and never acknowledges me. No “hello”, no “good bye” – nothing.

3) She refuses to address me by name, usually referring to me as “that one”.

4) She has others relay messages to me rather than speaking to me directly and when she DOES speak to me directly she is hostile, beligerant, demanding, and accusatory.

5) Whether it is my fault or not, she blames me, even to the point of lying.

6) She accuses me of harassing employees despite the fact that there is staff who vehemently deny that ever occurred.

7) She has made it virtually impossible for me to manage the staff/office as her level of micro-management has gotten out of hand. I am pretty much prevented from doing anything that would improve the business as a whole. I am not allowed to expect the biller to do anything more than simple data entry. When I ask her to do A/R follow up and give her projects to clean up the A/R, the biller runs to Doc and says I am harassing her even though other employees have said that isn’t true. The other clerical staff wonder on a daily basis, what the biller is doing with her time as everyone else seems to be doing her job.

9) Drug reps have said that they will cut down their visits to the office because she is so toxic, and the environment is so awful in here.

10) One drug rep described her as “despicable”, saying she is as bad as they come.

11) She has complained openly and loudly in front of patients that they had no business coming in without an appointment and expecting to be seen. (no tact). Shemakes patients feel awful for having an emergency and needing to come in.

12) When the cable TV had an issue with not receiving FOX NEWS (the only channel she will permit to be on), we put on another channel with entertaining content. She turned off the TV, rather than let the patients watch something other than FOX NEWS, then claimed that Obama did it because it was Glenn beck’s last show. One patient wanted to watch the Phillies game but she turned the TV off rather than make the patient happy.

13) She insists on imparting her political and religious views on people. She is extremely vocal on her hatred of Obama and anything Democrat and also has said that we all need to go to church more. She specifically told me that the current problems I am having with my children would be resolved if I would just go to church with her.

14) She spends her time in with M, talking trash about everyone and then criticizes the staff when the patient flow is not moving as smoothly as it should.

15) She criticizes the staff because no one wants to eat lunch in the kitchen with her. Staff have taken to sitting in their cars because they can’t stand listening to her badmouth everyone at lunch, and when some of us ate in another office one day, she sent out a memo saying that people could not eat anywhere BUT the kitchen (forcing us to sit with her and listen to her and her negativity).

16) K, the biller has been given numerous projects to improve cash flow and has consistently made the excuse that she does not have time. She then runs to doc and says I am harassing her which all the other staff deny. So doc has decided that instead of speaking to ME about this (the administrator), she speaks to Kristin’s PEERS which is extremely unprofessional.

17) She never commends anyone on their hard work. All she does is talk “shit” about everyone to anyone who will listen. She talks about everyone to everyone – very unprofessional.

18) She DAILY undermines my efforts to improve the flow/income/productivity of the office contradicting everything I am trying to do:

a. Protecting the biller when I am trying to get her to collect the money owed to the offices

b. Disapproving of the revised schedule which would reduce/eliminate patient backlog and improve the front desk in their scheduling of patients.

c. Shifting around some duties and responsibilities off of the biller so that she can concentrate on billing/A/R as her usual excuse for not working the A/R is because she says she has no time.

19) One of the first things she asked me to handle was employee lateness as many employees (including the biller) show up 10-15 minutes late everyday. When I commented on this CONTINUED lateness I was accused of harassing her. MRB chose not to support me when I was trying to do what SHE asked me to do. Staff continue to show up late however I no longer say anything because if I do comment that they need to show up on time, I will be accused of harassing them. The staff who can manage to come in on time really resent this as they (and I) feel everyone should show up and be ready to work by 8:30 or their scheduled start time.

20) She refuses to support my decisions, even the smallest ones, being combative and undermining me on a daily basis. She is extremely unprofessional/immature.

21) Every day she exhibits anger/hostility/vendictiveness/childishness towards pretty much everyone.

22) She refuses to do more than 8-10 cases a day and when 10 cases are scheduled, she finds a way to cancel one because she cannot handle anymore.

23) When I first arrived, I sat down with all the staff individually and spoke to them about myself/my management style and also got to know them. Almost everyone had a horror story about MRB and how she has treated them, how abusive she is to them, and how horrible she has made their lives. No employee should ever have to come to work and be harasses/ignored/ or treated with anything but respect and dignity. There are also lots of incidents in the employees charts documenting her reprehensible behavior towards them.

24) She NEVER accepts responsibility for her bad behavior. It is ALWAYS everyone else!!!! She never sees what HER actions do to people. There is a REASON why K finally had enough and left. There is a REASON why 3 PACU nurses quit in one day. There is a REASON why there is no DON anymore in this office. She makes people’s lives so miserable until they have no choice but to quit.

25) L, C, doc and I all attended a wedding for A (one of our staff). There was also a former employee (J) there. L, J and I all sat together for the ceremony and then hung together for cocktail hour. Doc came over and criticized what everyone was wearing. I had on Capri pants and a dress top with sandals. After dinner jeanette’s husband came over and asked me to dance. When he walked me back to the table she and Carol abruptly left. On Monday she went in to m’s office and said she HAD to leave once J and I started tickling each other and how “people” wore shorts and flip flops to the wedding. She then related the “tickling” thing to L who said “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” THAT NEVER HAPPENED!!!! M and L told me and then I asked her why she would be spreading those lies about me? I asked her what she was talking about and was expecting an answer but she abruptly changed the subject and made a comment about J being my new BFF. I told her that was not the case at all. Since J is a FORMER employee who QUIT because of Doc’s behavior, Doc was very unhappy that we were all together and having a good time. Her jealousy and childish behavior is completely unacceptable!!!!!! From that point on, she has refused to speak to me. I do not appreciate anyone making up lies about me. She lies about everyone, causing trouble wherever she goes.

26) I would venture to say that EVERY employee who ever quit from here did so quite justifiably and because of her continued and extreme harassment and unprofessional behavior. She will make someone’s life so miserable that they have no choice but to quit because she refuses to pay unemployment.

27) Staff who were here when K was here now say that Doc treats me just like she treated K. I actually emailed K and asked her how she lasted so long and her response was “did you see the wet bar”?

28) I make a point of treating people the way I want to be treated and so for now I have “taken” her abuse but I don’t know how much longer that will be the case. I hate seeing her treat my staff badly and they hate being victimized by her on a daily basis. I have done nothing to deserve this.

29) Instead of speaking to me, she leaves notes on my desk. She is completely unapproachable and hostile.

30) Her family wants nothing to do with her. She has no friends except the priest next door and if he knew how she treated us all, I venture to say he would not be friends with her either. She goes to church every Sunday but is probably the worst Catholic I have ever met. She spews venom EVERYDAY!!!!

31) She would rather me call the Delaware County Daily Times and complain when she doesn’t get her newspaper than to do my job. She barks orders at me and makes me feel like it’s my fault that the paper didn’t come.

 Diane Whitaker Update – June 27, 2011

I need to leave an update. I am going through workplace bullying at my new position, as a ICU nurse, and a local Veterans Hospital. Gossiping behind my back, clamping my piggyback medications, and unpluggng my tube feeding, totally ignoring my questions, and acusing me of doing taks wrong, when I am 100 percent sure, the task were done correctly. I have implemented a double check for myself to be sure the nursing tasks are being done correctly. Yet, my preceptor cleans up a MRSA patients stool,with her bare hands, and dumps MRSA sputum onto the floor from the patients T-piece. My bully is my preceptor, with 30 years experience at the same facility. When does the mistreatment ever stop?I asked to be put into a housekeeping position instead of an RN position, and was outright denied. I just want to do my job, and take care of my veterans.

Diane Whitaker June, 12, 2011

I am a critical care nurse of tweleve years. Since 1999, I have been slapped, called derogatory names, tormented, controlled by my co-workers and my supervisors. I came home after being told I had breast cancer, which was a misdiagnosis. I needed, and wanted to be closer to my family. I was hired at [redacted], In Utica, New York as an open heart nurse. It was my dream come true, after working so hard to be a critical care nurse. My preceptor, kept putting her stomach up against my left leg, even after moving away, she continued to physically violate me. She would use fear tactics, about the cardiac surgeon, Dr. [redacted], and use the silent treatment,and not answer my questions, Which is extremely dangerous in an open heart critical care unit. I would not recieve help to turn or move my patients. She would tell family members lies about my skills.I was told by my co-workers at night, that my night time precptor had treated prior new employees very badly. Her manager knew, that I was being mstreated, and changed me to another preceptor, whom called me a F___ing Ho, after asking what unfractioned heparin meant. My night preceptor would not sign off my skills so, I could get off orientation, another controlling issue she used against me. I resigned immediately, and have been fighting with New York State to receive my unemployment benefits,for eight months now, still denied to this day. I contacted the Legal Aid society in Syracuse, and Utica, and was told they did not have the funding to help me.I unerwent a cardiac catherization from the stress of working with my night time preceptor, which turned out to be coronary artery spasms. I sat at the bottom of my dads’ driveway, and had to decide to pull out in front of a blue gasoline tanker, instead of going to work with my controlling, intimidating, physically abusive nigth time precpetor. I decide at that poitn, that no weasle, snake, or evil person is worth taking my own life. Recently; I was in a homeless shelter, until I could start my new job in Buffalo, a four hour drive from my family.

I have suffered psychologically, financially, physically, and am still struggling with fear, of going through the same work place bullying at my new job.

I am a Unted States Air Force Veteran/Paramedic/Registered Nurse.

I am truly sorry to the faimily of Jodie Zebell, and Kevin Morrisey, and the family members of the employees who took their lives, due to mean nasty, controlling jealous bosses, and co-workers.

We need to work together, to get the Healthy Workplace Bill passed in 21 states. Please write to your assembly person, senators, governor, and our president to get the Healthy Workpace Bill passed. Check out the Workplace Bullying Instittue.

Thank you!

“I Hate Bullies” June 6, 2011

Every story is similiar. it is sad that it seems to be getting to be more and more.

bullies should be made to pay something to the targets who loss their jobs, dignity, for damages they caused, etc etc, they should be punished big time……..I hate bullies, big or small…..did they do this in school when they were school age? were they born this way? if i recall, one of my bullies at work, was in face a miss know it all in school, not very pretty, but sure bullied others in school, and still doing that today……..man she even bullied her mother…….

I hate bullies

Judy April 26, 2011

It is interesting how most of the stories have a common vein that the people bullied were very good in their work. Bullies will only pick on a strong employee with good work skills, because weaker employees have either succumbed to them already, and are coerced into doing the dirty work of the bullies to keep their jobs – thus mobbing occurs. A work team is only a good as the weakest link, and if the manager or the department head is the weakest link, then you should look for a better company for a career.

I worked as a System Implementor and Trainer and was bullied/harassed for almost 8 months before I was forced out of my job by a new female manager. I also experienced mobbing in the area I worked in. My demise started when the manager spread lies about me to the work team and department head. Both her and the department head discredited me to other employees, within the company, new department staff, as well as to clients before and after I was terminated. I was aware that both held a meeting with a junior staff member and tried to coerce her to admit to negative things that I supposedly said and done (events the manager made up). She was a confident young woman and didn’t buy into their tactics and she was picked on as well until she left. A client also advised me of the undermining going on behind my back.

Because the bullies were poor managers, I was blamed for everything that went wrong in the department for instance, an anti-bullying memo was put up in the coffee room while I was on holidays. The department head accused me of doing it, when I came back to the office (I was out of the province). For managers to have so much time to play these games and ignore the real work (ie. client wasn’t invoiced for almost 18 months and wouldn’t have been if I didn’t do it – the accountability for invoicing clients was a not done.

I was very good in my profession which involved a lot of travel and working independently with clients which was why the management could derail my efforts because no one really gets to know everyone very well. I received many thank you letters and small token gifts from other employees and clients for my support to them. It appears that bullies, whether they are a co-worker, manager or department head, are insecure individuals, most often incompetent in their role and then combine this with mental issues.

renna2 April 25, 2011

I have learned that you have to investigate potential employers just like they do job applicants. I know that the motivation for any company is profit as it should be but, when that profit disregards the health and well being of employees you are in a dangerous place. Companies stress that safety is first and when an accident happens it is always the victims fault, regardless of where or how it happened it is your fault. It’s the same with workplace bullying by complaining you draw attention to a major problem no one wants to address therefore the victim is left to fend for themselves. Bullying is a no win situation the victim loses money, health, respect, dignity, job, sanity and sometimes their lives and some people have the nerve to say we dont need another law.

Mrfaisel34, April 22, 2011

I know of a nurse manager who was under so much covert aggression, due to workplace bullying, that she had a stroke in her mid 50s. At first, this nurse manager had lost weight and appeared to be doing well but the workplace bullying in the form of covert aggression proved too much for her. She gained all the weight back and suffered constant ailments until an early stroke disabled her. Indirect workplace bullying aka covert aggression has claimed yet another victim under the guise of natural causes.

Workplace bullying and covert aggression can take a physical, as well as mental, toll on people.

Medical Assistant, March 9, 2011

Lisa – sorry you went through that and everyone else on this website too. I was just forced out of a job I had held for 7 months. I am very pleasant and easy to get along with, extremely competent, hardworking etc. I never realized why I was bullied all the time but as you said bullies do not like these traits because we are everything they are not. They are threatened and generally they suffer from the narcissistic personality disorder. I encourage you and others to read up on this disorder if you haven’t already come across it. Also, if anyone is a Christian on this site, Jezebel spirit is another one to research. Do not blame yourselves, I have the habit of doing this, even though I know it is not me. There is nothing much we can do unfortunately because these people are master manipulators and they pull Person A, B, C etc. in and form a triangle of people and they are so good at convincing people. I do not have a mean bone in me and this doctor I worked for managed to convince everyone I was no good. She was nasty to me and treated everyone around her nicely. I cannot think of a single thing I did to her except be nice, even gave her candy with the files sometimes. Absolutely nothing worked. I finally talked to management about an issue which was truly over the top and management spoke to her and evidently she told her that I treated the patients bad and made all these mistakes. I am sick over this because I was an absolute gem on this job and treated everyone with respect, helped people etc. I do not want to sound like I am boasting or anything, I could only do this with Christ’s strength, otherwise I would be nothing. Any way,she convinced management and they let me go. I am now unemployed.

So hang in there everybody. We are better off out of these situations because it will only make a person miserable and sick. I believe we will be rewarded some day for our good works.

Wanderer, January 22, 2011

I am not going back to work on Monday, because I can no longer deal with being bullied and abused at work.

I have been employed with this company for a year and two months, and all that time I have been harassed, verbally and emotionally assaulted, and threatened with my job by my boss. The boss is actually married to the man who owns the company, which apparently gives this person the right to treat me like I’m less than old gum under a desk.

The Boss has rarely if ever had a kind word to say about my performance. I should have realized the trouble I was going to be in when I started on my first day working in shipping, taping up boxes for orders, and The Boss stood over my shoulder the whole time, complaining that I wasn’t taping the boxes up right. Then The Boss moved on to how I didn’t pick orders in a correct manner. When I was brought to a different section of the company to work with customers, the complaints ranged from talking too much with the customers, to typing to slowly when typing orders, to picking too many of one item to be shipped (even though all orders are checked before they are shipped out, to not leaving enough extra on the end of a fabric order (which recently became too much), to asking too many questions (and then being told that I was assuming that I knew everything). The list goes on and on.

I cried a lot. I knew I was a good person, and I knew I could be good at my job if I could only get The Boss to trust me just a little… but no. Never. No matter what I did or how well I did it, there was no “getting it right”. My job was held over my head almost every day for another reason, usually small trivial things, and if The Boss wasn’t threatening to fire me because I got something wrong, The Boss was threatening to fire me because I couldn’t be trusted to do anything. Oh, and the constant belittling in front of customers was the icing on the cake.

I started off with a pretty hefty job description, but then it was limited to just a handful of duties. Then The Boss complained that I wasn’t doing enough around the store and I had to “start doing your job as you were hired for it” or face being let go. Then, I made a mistake and my job was limited again, with the same reminder that “the last person who did this got fired.”

Today was the last straw. An innocent comment from a customer got me hauled in the office and threatened with termination again. The Boss even said “I’ve heard from various customers that you don’t like me, and if you don’t then you’re stupid to stay here.”

She then named the customers both of whom had actually gone to The Boss to complain of the treatment of myself as an employee based on what they’d seen. The Boss took that to mean that I had complained to them about how The Boss treated me, and wanted to use that and the conversation from earlier as a reason to fire me.

I took a deep breath, worked the rest of the day, and will NOT be returning on Monday morning. The Boss is bad for my mental health, and when I send in my resignation notice (effective immediately due to health issues), it will include the line:

“I don’t need to talk about you to anyone. Your track record speaks for itself.”

“caroli”, December 29, 2010

I was bullied and secually harassed for 9 months. I finally quit. I feel very sorry for all the people being bullied. Please look for help! Or another job. No job is worth your mental health.

“ER Nurse”, October 31, 2010

I have chills down my spine reading everything on this site. This is way too close to home for me. I was bullied almost to the point of suicide like Jodie’s story. Gosh, not only was I bullied but I was discrimated against and had co-workers gossiping about me and spreading rumors around the department. I tried to defend myself, but nobody believed me. In the end, they let me go!! I couldn’t believe the whole experience. People can be so mean, especially fellow nurses. Now I feel like I have PTSD and have tremendous fear of ever working again….
So relieved to see this website!!

@ER Nurse – I’m so glad the site has helped bring you comfort. Anyone going through this type of experience needs to reach out for individual counseling in gathering inner strength, reclaiming your health and moving on. Warm thoughts and wishes to you. – Bev

“Good Girl”, October 8, 2010

The same thing happened to me. I was bullied by my boss for about 8 months, but then others joined in and it became a workplace mobbing that I endured 6 more months before I finally quit. I was so upset when I got home everyday, and I usually google to do problem solving. I was blamed for something that another employee did, and the rest joined in on it. I googled “Salem Witch Trials” because that’s how I felt like they were treating me. I ran across the word “mobbing” so I googled it. That’s when I ran across “Workplace mobbing”. It was like reading about myself. Everything that I had gone through the past year, was all over the internet. I quit taking it personal, realizing it was insecure people’s way of office strategy. It was too late though, because I had already developed PTSD.

I kept a journal everyday, thought about trying to sue them. I decided maybe to compile it and write a book instead.

LG, September 19, 2010

Four years ago, I was “all but dissertation” in clinical psychology, on my way to a PhD and a career in research. Then I was hired as a research assistant by a professor who, unbeknownst to me at the time, was a serial workplace bully. After having my first dissertation topic fall through due to an inability to find enough of the right subjects, I thought I was lucky to have my employer offer her set of data for me to use to complete a dissertation and my PhD degree.

I was not a target at the time; someone else was, and warned me about her. I didn’t believe them. After all, at the time, she treated me well.

Then the target was fired. And shortly thereafter, my boss began a campaign of harassment that included every type of humiliation and subterfuge you can imagine. In addition, I was also pressured to twist the truth in a scientific paper (which I refused to do).

I was stunned. I had never seen anything like this before. When my boss finally resorted to overt sabotage (as all my work passed through her hands, it was easy for her to remove essential documents and blame it on me), and I began to suffer Stress Disorder symptoms, I knew it was time to leave. Her reporting me to Human Resources on overtly trumped up and false charges was the final straw. When they took my report of what she’d done to me, but did nothing about it, I knew she was too important and well protected, and that no one would listen or really believe me. And I was right.

So I left-leaving my dissertation data and ultimately my PhD degree and career behind.

In the end, I was unable to find another job in my city in research, as the university I’d worked at was the only one that regularly hired research assistants in my area, and as soon as other professors there talked to her about me, I couldn’t get a second interview–and I owned a home and was (and am) married, and I couldn’t leave. So my career as a psychologist was dead–no access to research data, and blacklisted at the one university where I was able to work in my region.

Two jobs later (one as a copy editor, one as a secretary)–and, believe it or not, two more encounters with other bullies, who quickly targeted me and forced me out–I have lost my home to foreclosure, my husband and I have been forced to declare bankruptcy, and I’ve developed an autoimmune disorder.

I have learned that being targeted more than once is not uncommon. We targets seem to carry subtle “signs” that shout “Bully her!” or “Bully him!”

Indeed, there ought to be a law. I and my husband have lost everything. Our home is gone, my career is gone, we are bankrupt, and we live in my mother’s house (Thank God for her willingness to allow us that!). I have always been complimented on my ethics, my hardworking attitude, my competence, my pleasant personality, my agreeableness, and my likability. Now I find that all those things attract serial workplace bullies.

My only recourse now is to try to reinvent myself–at the age of 54, mind you–by using my skills in low-paying jobs to give us some type of steady income, while trying to start my own business, so that I’ll never be bullied again.

Three times is enough. There’s nothing left to take away from us, at least. It’s all gone.

But I’ll never stop mourning over my lost career. I loved research, and I loved being a psychologist-in-training. All my hopes, all the years of work on the degree, are all gone.

Oh, by the way–the bullying professor was promoted shortly after I was forced out.

“OT”, August 22, 2010

“OT”, August 21, 2010

I have being going through that situation in my job for 6 years, sometimes I have to take a pill to be able to work under that pressure. The only solution I have is to leave the job and my rent control apartment and move with my relatives,losing the job and medical insurance. To prepare for this decision got me depressed already. One feels helpless and angry at the same time.

“CS”, July 5, 2010

I was fired after 34 years as a nure in a hospital. I was bullied by my manager for about a year. She made false accusations about me,ctitized my every move,twisted my words around,criticized me in front of my co-workers. What I know about “floor” nursing she hasnt had time to learn. Now I have no job, no insurance,cant get a job because the hospital put a complaint againt my nursing lisence that will take 6 to 8 months to take off. My dream of retiring and buying a toyota truck to ride my dogs around in are out the window. If I want a truck now I’ll have to build one!! When I’m in a stronger place[I hope Im not dead then} I will go to the media and give my name.For now Im a citizen Lobbyist for the HEALTHY WORKPLACE BILL in Arizona. I wrote my State Representitive and U.S Senator. I’m now asking people for their help to support this bill. I think we should have a protest march at the state capitals around the U.S.

"Katey", July 5, 2010

#1 How is anything ever going to be done when no company, organization or names can be mentioned, due to a lawsuit. In time it could be found out who the worst culprits are and weed them out. We all need to band together and step up to the plate and fight this bulling. It is almost like alcoholism, cunning, baffling and powerful to the point where it destroys lives. Financially I am ruined and mentally I am torn due to many jobs where bulling and verbal sexual assault were the norm. Lets just say I am a health care worker, where bullying has been the norm for many years. This should not be taken lightly as those bullys also abuse thier patients, but they know how to manipulate and suck hole to the boss. The boss is a part of the process many of the times.

Year ago no one knew of such a thing as bullying in the workplace so one just shutup and putup with the crap. The circumstances have not changed a lot. I was called into the bosses quarters and told that some of the residents and co- workers had allegations that I was leaving residents in a state of neglect. I went straight to the shop steward at my workplace, as without a doubt I knew I had done no such thing. As soon as it was found out that I had done this my boss terminated me that very day only one hour later. I went to the union office in the town where I live and put in a grievence.Each time a meeting was called I had no representative to be there. They all worked in the same department as I did and for fear of losing thier jobs would not represent me. One of them even told me to zip it at all times and say nothing or I would loose my job. This was prior to my forced resignation. Following several meetings with the boss and her accomplices of whom did not even work in the same department, It was basically admitted by the boss that allegations did not exist. I looked her in the face addressed her by her name and asked her straight out WAS THERE EVER ANY ALLEGATIONS???? Her exact words in an exasperated tone were. Hmmmh! I went about this all in the wrong way. Co- workers later came to me and offered me reference for other work. As it turns out this Health Authority where I live covers a huge area and with no money due to lack of a fair living wage at other part time demeaning jobs, I am unable to just pick up my life and move. I have a close relationship with my children and grandchildren and do not feel that following years of prayer to have them all close to me, most of them have migrated to the area where I live.Why should I have to move. I came to this area for my work and I did nothing wrong! That was established. The agreements that myself,my union rep and myself came to were never adhered to from thier side and in fact they have done something to keep me from getting with in the health area. I have been the full circle more than once with the so called powers that be. If the half of what goes on with in these organizations were ever known, many of the chain of command would be out of work. I am financially ruined and mentally distraught. I should be compensated for the unnecessary indignation, financial ruin, emotional trauma etc. THERE OUTA BE A LAW!!!!!! and AN ORGANIZATION TO ENABLE the ordinary Joe to fight such BULLYING. Those involved in the bullying need to made to suffer the same hardships and down right misery they have put upon others with thier LIES, MANIPULATION, RECRUITING OF THE SHEEP ETC…..

"Diane Wilkinson", June 7, 2010

I am reading the personal stories on this website and I am filled with an awful sense of doom – how are we ever going to stop this nightmare that grows and infects with every hour that passes. Our call for criminalisation of workplace abuse/psychological violence falls on obstinately deaf ears (in Australia) letters, pleas, submissions to politicians, at every level, continue to be conpletely ignored. Globally, it is surely a crime against humanity so why is it not regarded with such gravity. I am at my wits end. Why don’t they care??